Sugarcane

[[Just plead guilty instead!|GUILTY]]\n[[Plead not guilty!|CRIME-NOTGUILTY]]

<<if $favors >= 3>><<set $favors = $favors - 3>>You slide some hidden chunks of a platinum asteroid from a concealed pocket and toss them around the arena. Avarice's hands fight each other for the precious rocks and the beast soon tires itself out.\n\nYou've won your first battle out of four!\n\n<<display 'AR1-3'>><<else>>You can't afford to bribe such an avaricious creature! You'll have to fight it normally!\n\n<<display 'AR1-2'>><<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $alibi = true>><<set $character = true>>"What were you doing the //thyme// of the crime? Haha! Like the herb? That wasn't really an out-loud joke. Anyway, you were picking up groceries for me! This was the week we had that thick cloud cover, and you know I have a hard time getting to the store to buy my own crystallized sunlight. I really appreciate you picking some up for me."\n\nMurmurs from the court, as though people are impressed with your compassion.\n\n"Well, hope I helped. //Seed// ya around, partner! Haha!"\n\nCount Whisperbat groans.<<else>>"What were you doing the time of the crime? How am I supposed to know? I'm stuck in the ground! You know I don't get around much! Would it kill you to visit more often? Because //it would actually kill me.//"\n\n"Sorry, Spinach. I'm kind of busy lately."\n\n"I know, I know. Just venting. It's just frustrating sometimes, you know? Being in a community of mobile people when you're stuck in the ground all the time. Worrying whether people are gonna forget about you. Stop watering you."\n\n"That's real, Spinach."\n\n"Sorry, didn't mean to be //root!// Haha! Listen, I'll let you get back to your trial, but hit me up when you've got some time to //kale//! Haha! Kale!"\n\n"Okay, Spinach."\n\nIt hangs up.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

There's the Robailiff, standing in front of what looks to be a smooth wall, though looking closer you can just make out the hinges. That's where you are, I guess.\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

A negative image of the photo is quickly produced. It now looks exactly the same, except that the lines are white instead of black.\n\n"I don't know what you thought that would accomplish," says the being on the witness stand.\n\nCount Whisperbat chuckles giddily. Maybe not your best call.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

The photo is rotated on the holograph until it's upside down.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll > 2>><<set $evidence = false>>Hey! Upside down, the lines in the photo, supposedly megabike tracks, reveal themselves as the lines of an erotic etching of two tentacled beings cavorting from the 2800s!\n\n"Oh my," says the witness. Everyone in court is blushing.\n\nExcept for Count Whisperbat, who is fuming.<<else>>The photo now looks exactly the same, but upside down.\n\n"Is there anything else we can do for you?" chuckles Whisperbat. "I can draw a pony on it if thou likes. I'm a Vampire, a Lawyer, AND an artist."\n\nYou gamble, you lose.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<>\n<<set $cats_guilty = 0>>\n<<set $cats_innocent = 0>>\n<<set $cat_minutes = 10>>\n<<endnobr>>A big space is cleared out in the courtroom and ten cats are placed in the center. The left side of the court is designated as the "INNOCENT" side, the right side "GUILTY." After ten minutes have passed, whichever side more cats have chosen is the verdict.\n\nTen little cats lazing around the courtroom floor and licking themselves will decide your fate. You are not allowed to touch them, but you can try to entice them.\n\n<<display AR6-CHOICES>>

<<set $character = false>>"What were you doing when? Striking terror into the hearts of the comfortable, no doubt! If I know you, you were giving some planet's organisms a name to scare their children with! The galaxy has a short memory, my friend, and you've got to leave your mark while the laser brand's hot!"\n\nThere's a scream from Dagger's side of the holomat.\n\n"I wasn't talking to you, Stella! But my logo does look so much better since I added the blood dripping off the heel of the shoe, doesn't it? Bring in the next prisoner! Sorry, friend, I've got to go! Busy building my personal brand, haha!"\n\nShe hangs up.\n\nThere's a lady who knows how to live.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<display 'PR1-HACK'>><<else>>You're all out of favors!\n\n"Defense!" The Judge bangs their laser gavel. "Do you have any objection to this piece of evidence?"\n\n[["There's something wrong with this photo."|PR1A-2]]\n[["I don't even own a megabike!"|PR1B]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Maybe there's something wrong with the picture? Worth a shot."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "PLEASE TELL ME YOU OWN A MEGABIKE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

The photo is zoomed out.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll > 3>><<set $evidence = false>>Hey! Those aren't megabike tracks! Those spiralling lines are part of a fingerprint!\n\n"Oh, I guess I my finger was in the way of the camera," the creature on the witness stand blushes. "Haha."\n\nCount Whisperbat scowls.<<else>>Zoomed out, the photo shows that the culprit performed a bunch of really cool spins and donuts on the megabike before finally leaving the crime scene.\n\n"Cool, but a little showy," says the witness.\n\nCount Whisperbat beams smugly. You win some, you lose some.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Oh, do tell," titters Whisperbat. "What problem findeth thou with this photo?"\n\n[["Zoom out!"|PR1A-3]]\n[["Turn the photo upside-down!"|PR1A-4]]\n[["Invert the colors!"|PR1A-5]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Maybe if the photo is zoomed out a little there'll be, uh, something that contradicts the Prosecution's claims?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "OOH. OOH. INVERT THE COLORS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"You couldn't magic your way out of a paper bag!" you tell Whisperbat.\n\n"Oh, couldn't I?" He traces a shape in the air and then snaps his fingers, and suddenly you can't see!\n\n"HEY!" you yell through the paper bag over your head, but it comes out all muffled. By the time you manage to get it off, the Judge has already banged their laser gavel.\n\n"Heh heh heh," chuckles Count Whisperbat to himself.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"I challenge you-" you begin. Then you realize your clothes are gone.\n\n"You were saying?" she smiles. "Never challenge a master thief, kid."\n\nYou blush and try to sink down behind the desk. You have nothing more to say. I guess her testimony stands.\n\nWhisperbat titters with glee.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

Douchey time traveler.

"YOU CAN'T PAY THE PRICE, YOU'RE GONNA BE EATING RICE," her voice booms in your mind. "IN SPACE JAIL I MEAN. I HEAR THEY SERVE RICE."\n\n"PLEASE DON'T TESTIFY AGAINST ME, OKAY?" you telepathically beg.\n\n"NO? WHY NOT?"\n\n[["I HAVE A PARTNER AND KIDS AT HOME."|PR2B-3]]\n[["I'M ALLERGIC TO SPACE JAIL."|PR2B-4]]\n[["I KNOW WHERE YOU CAN FIND A PRETTY SNAZZY CLOAK."|PR2B-5]]\n[[Insult her.|PR2B-6]]

<<set $character = false>>"Your character? Blacker than space past an event horizon and twice as twisted. I never thought I'd meet a soul as cold and wicked as my own, //and I haven't!// But thinking of you still gives me a shiver or two on a chilly night. You're a scoundrel after my own heart, never afraid to spit in the eye of the universe. You wear danger like a robe, my friend, and it fits you well."\n\n"Thanks, Dagger," you say, blushing a little.\n\n"I wouldn't say it if it wasn't true. They call me many things in this part of the galaxy, but 'liar' isn't one of them. Because I'd have them killed. Speaking of which, do you know how long someone can survive being keel-hauled in zero gravity?"\n\n"I have no idea."\n\n"Well, we're about to find out! Haha! Talk to you later, friend!" She hangs up. No rest for the wicked.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

This is the way the game ends.

You grasp the witness's words with your mind as you sink back into the courtroom, pulling them with you. "HE BOUGHT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL CLOAK I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW," Everyone in the courtroom hears. "THAT WAS HIS PAYMENT FOR ME TESTIFYING AGAINST YOU."\n\n"Count Whisperbat, is this true?" asks the Judge.\n\n"Of course, your Majesty," Whisperbat replies. "She's a professional, after all."\n\n"Superlative," says the Judge. "I believe in people being fairly compensated for their labor."\n\nYou don't think this has helped you at all! Whisperbat chuckles.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>>Using the touchscreen, you pull up the latest news headline.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>>''<<if $dieroll eq 6>><<if $evidence eq true and $alibi neq true>>JURY CLOSE TO A CONVINCTION, SAYS INSIDER IN CELEBRITY TRIAL.<<else>><<if $evidence neq true and $alibi eq true>>FULL ACQUITTAL EXPECTED, SAYS INSIDER IN CELEBRITY TRIAL.<<else>>TRIAL EXPECTED TO DRAG ON, SAYS INSIDER IN CELEBRITY TRIAL.<<endif>><<endif>><<else>><<print either("CELEBRITY GOSSIP: VENUS VELVA AND MERCURY RISING - ARE THEY A THING?","ARCHAEOLOGISTS DISCOVER EVIDENCE OF ANCIENT SPIDER CULT ON MARS.","SPORTS WORLD ABLAZE AS KILLBALL CHAMPION BABS BATTLEBABE COMMITS UNTHINKABLE ACT OF ARSON.","THE PEN IS MIGHTIER THAN THE SWORD, SAY SCIENTISTS WHO HAVE INVENTED NEW LASER PEN.","BELOVED TYRANT, THE QUEEN OF SPACE, DECLARES FEDORAS ILLEGAL. QUOTE: 'REALLY NOW.'","EVERYTHING'S GOING TO BE FINE, ALREADY IS FINE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, SAY POLITICIANS.","BOX OFFICE RECORDS ABSOLUTELY SHATTERED AS A VEGAN MEGABULL GETS LOOSE IN HUB WORLD CINEPLEX.","'SHOOT THE MOON' HIGHEST GROSSING FILM IN DECADES, ALSO GROSS, SAY CRITICS.")>><<endif>>''\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

<<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>>You pull up your inbox on the touchscreen. It looks like you have a new message:\n\n''FROM: <<print either("Spinach Arugala. MESSAGE: hey pal got a joke for you! so this sentient meat creature is getting dressed in its room when it realizes there's a sentient vine climbing up the wall outside its window! and it says, hey stop watching me! and then the vine, she says: SORRY FOR CREEPING! because she's a CREEPING VINE, GET IT? lololol anyway then she respects the person's privacy and looks away :o","Kremlin San Antonio. MESSAGE: hey hot stuff, wanted to let u know it was so cute the way you fell for me. by which i mean took the fall for me in court lol <3<3","Valencia St. Mission. MESSAGE: Darling! I am having another of my Moonlight Soirees this weekend - yes! that's right! I rented the light petrifier again. We'll spend the night dancing on moonbeams! You absolutely must come, so don't get convicted of anything, okay? xoxo valencia","Trouble_Bruin. MESSAGE: u seemed down last time i saw u so i hacked ur ride 2 only play italo disco `㉨´b ul thank me l8r lol `㉨´v","Unknown address. MESSAGE: forward this email to 13 of your friends or bathomet the demon queen of bathtubs will come out of ur next bubble bath and kill you !! deleting this email won't help you must forward this email or die the choice is yours","Unknown address. MESSAGE: ILLEGAL ON 80 WORLDS! Venusian Dream Holoids! Experience Firsthand What It's Like To Be A Venusian Having A Dream With These Totally Uncensored Holoids! Never Before Available Off Venus, But Visit This Website To Watch Them FREE* *Free to users who pay per viewing minute","Unknown address. MESSAGE: your tub")>>''\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

<<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>>These seamless, featureless walls can't hold you! It's time to escape! But how?? Several options present themselves to you:\n\n[[Escape through the door!|RF-1]]\n[[Escape through the vents!|RF-2]]\n[[Escape in your mind!|RF-3]]

<<set $character = true>>"Darling, you are simply one of the sweetest, most cloyingly perfect beings it has ever been my pleasure to know on this trip around the binary star. So gentle you wouldn't hurt a fly, which is why you never made a name for yourself in my business, heh heh. You're an absolute doll and I will go on the court record as saying that. 'A doll' - Venus Velva."\n\nWow! You feel pretty good about yourself now.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>><<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica Charming huddles with you in the cramped little room. It's a little awkward.\n\n<<if $alibi eq true and $evidence neq true>>"You're doing pretty good out there, kid. I mean, naturally, of course you are, with me as your representation. I've never lost a case and I don't intend to start today! My recommendation is that you just sit tight and don't do anything too hasty. You're gonna be okay." She pats you on an appendage.<<endif>><<if $alibi eq true and $evidence eq true>>"My lawyer's instincts tell me this case could go on for a while. Unless there's some sort of way you can curry favor with the Judge, I think the jury will want to see more witnesses. The safest thing to do would be to stick it out for another round of testimony - maybe you can get it to go in your favor this time."<<endif>><<if $alibi neq true and $evidence eq true>>"Put simply," she says, "it doesn't look good. If there's anything you can do from in here to get the Judge on your side you should do it. //Anything,//" she repeats, miming the Judge with one hand and a dollar bill walking up to them with the other, which is quite impressive really. "Otherwise I think you're boned, sorry."<<endif>><<if $alibi neq true and $evidence neq true>>"Nothing really conclusive was proven on either side in there. My lawyer's instinct is that the jury won't be able to come to a conclusion. If you could somehow get the Judge on your side, maybe this could end soon. Otherwise, get ready for another round of testimony."<<endif>>\n\nWith a wave and a smile, she leaves, which involves sort of walking backwards through the door while squatting. Phew, it's slightly more roomy in here now.<<endif>><<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid is deposited in the room in briefcase form. It actually is unable to unfold itself all the way because of the small space. Its voice is kind of muffled, because its head is still half-buried in its chest.\n\n"<<print either("YOU'RE WALKING OUT OF HERE A FREE BEING. TRUST ME,","THEY'RE GOING TO HANG YOU, I KNOW IT,","I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I'M HAVING A REALLY FUN TIME,","COUNT WHISPERBAT'S A TOTAL DWEEB,","I THINK MY CHARISMA HAS WON OVER THE COURTROOM,","IN MY OPINION, YOU'RE TOTALLY BONED,","TIMES LIKE THIS REMIND ME OF THE OLD VENUSIAN SAYING, 'EXPECT THE WORST, HOPE FOR NOTHING.' A VERY NEGATIVE PEOPLE, THE VENUSIANS,","I FEEL REALLY WEIRD,")>>" it buzzes. Then it folds itself back up, and the Robailiff lifts it out of the room.<<endif>><<if $lawyer eq "none">>You consult with yourself.\n\n"If I was in your place," you tell yourself, "the first thing I'd do is get a good goddamn lawyer."\n\n"Thanks," you tell yourself.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

<<if $favors >= 2>><<set $favors = $favors - 2>><<set $judge_bribed = true>><<if $evidence eq true>><<set $evidence = false>><<else>><<set $alibi = true>><<endif>><<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>>Using the touchscreen, you buy the Judge a particularly tall and powerful amazon off their wishlist. You hope it helps.<<else>>You can't afford it! When did amazons get so expensive?<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

<<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>>Have computer, will hack! You saw a bumper sticker that said that once. It was on the back of someone's computer. Well, this touchscreen is at least 50% computer, let's get crackin'!\n\nYour fingers are a whirlwind on the screen! Anyone who didn't know better might say you were just moving them around at random.<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>> But then the security camera hub comes up! Wrong again, hypothetical strawmen!\n\nThrough which camera do you wish to gaze your all-seeing eye?\n\n[[Courtroom.|RC-1]]\n[[Jury Deliberation Chamber.|RC-2]]\n[[Suspect Breakroom.|RC-3]]\n[[Hallway.|RC-4]]<<else>> Then a siren goes off.\n\n"Just what do you think you're doing?" accuses the Robailiff, poking its head into the room. "You know my brain is like connected to the internet, right? I could have you held in contempt!"\n\n[[Bribe the Robailiff! - 1 favor.|RC-5]]\n[[Face the music.|RC-6]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>><<endif>>

Yes! Yes, that was it exactly! You give an amazing performance that leaves no doubt in the mind of anyone watching that you could have performed the crime in question.\n\nFantastic! You're guilty.\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica Charming wipes tears out of her eyes. "That was beautiful."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "ENCORE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

STAR COURT

"Many a time, yes. I am a prince of liars, a poet of slander. But while I appear before this court, I am ritually bound to speak only the truth."\n\n[["What? For real?"|PR4A]]

<<if $debug eq true>>//Evidence against you: <<$evidence>>. You have an alibi: <<$alibi>>.// \n\n<<endif>><<set $clicks = 2>>The Robailiff escorts you to the Suspect Breakroom: a small, black, cube-shaped room, almost featureless except for a computer touchscreen in the wall.\n\n"I'll come get you when court is ready to reconvene," says the Robailiff. "I'll be right outside the door, so don't try any funny stuff." It shuts the door behind it, and once it's closed you can barely tell where the wall and door meet, so smooth are they.\n\n<<display 'R-LOOP'>>

The titanic mindform picks you up with one of her many arms. "DO YOU SURRENDER?" she hisses at you while you flail in her grip.\n\n"YES! YES! DON'T KILL ME PLEASE."\n\n"ACCEPTED," she howls, and her howl washes over you like an enormous wave, pulling you under the surface and out to sea.\n\nYou awaken sometime later, in the courtroom, to the sight of Count Whisperbat helping the psychic down from the witness stand. He turns and chuckles at you.\n\nI guess you missed your chance to counter-argue the witness's testimony!\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"IS THAT SO?" she asks.\n\n"YEAH! IT'S ACTUALLY A CLOAKING DEVICE," you reply.\n\n"ISN'T THAT - NOT THE SAME THING AS A CLOAK?"\n\n"OH NO, IT'S JUST AS GOOD," you insist.\n\n[[Have a cloaking device beamed in for the witness - 1 favor.|PR2B-8]]\n[[On second thought...|PR2B-9]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>

<<if $favors > 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<set $prosecution_level = $prosecution_level - 1>>You call in an old pal of yours, a nun from the House of the Endless Nova, to spritz the Vampire Lord with holy water.\n\n"I wither!" howls Whisperbat. "I can feel myself regressing - gasp! I am now a Level <<$prosecution_level>> Vampire Lord! SO BE IT! I am still up to the task of bringing this criminal to justice! The coming of night shall see Whisperbat victorious!"\n\n"Sure," says the Judge.<<else>>You've used up all your favors already!\n\nYou think you catch Whisperbat smile haughtily at you, or was it just a trick of the light?<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to trial|PROSECUTION]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 5>>Here on the astral plane, your psychic bodies are as physical and real as your material body is in the physical world. So it really hurts when she crushes you beneath her feet, rends your body limb from limb, and casts the shreds of your essence into astral space to be forever lost.\n\nWell, they'll never find you guilty! They'll never find you at all.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<else>><<set $evidence = false>>You spit in your opponent's third eye - your spittle being a potent and cutting thought. Thoughts, on the astral plane, are as deadly a weapon as any blade.\n\nWhile she's waving her arms around trying to wipe off her eye you trip her and start flicking her ear until she submits. "I SUBMIT! I SUBMIT!"\n\nThen: POOF! You're back in the material plane. "WITNESS!" hollars Count Whisperbat. "You may begin your - witness? Witness??" But she is utterly silent, almost comatose. \n\nWhisperbat curses at you as the despondant witness is removed from court. Somehow, he seems to know this is your fault.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<endif>>

<<set $evidence = true>>"YOU WISH TO KNOW WHAT YOU WERE DOING A CERTAIN EVENING?" it buzzes. "VERY WELL, I ACCESS YOUR PERSONAL CALENDAR." Beep Boop extends its metal tong arm and lifts the calendar from its hook on the wall. Your robot butler turns and holds the calendar up to the camera. Scrawled in pencil on the day of the crime is:\n\n"Tonight: <<$crime>>!"\n\n"Hahaha wow," laughs Whisperbat. Star dongs.\n\n"Thanks, Beep Boop. I'll see you at home later. Maybe."\n\n"HAVE FUN AT YOUR TRIAL." You hang up.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

You are strapped to a table. A doctor wearing a gas mask uses tongs to hold a syringe filled with glowing <<print either("green","purple","magenta","chartreuse","periwinkle","polka dotted","ultraviolet")>> liquid. "This is <<print either("cyberscorpion venom","a botched love potion","highly radioactive slime","a colony of really ornery nanomachines","Darkest Nightshade","monster blood","pure ectoplasm")>>. In five out of every six cases, it's fatal. In the sixth, merely permanently damaging. Well, let's find a vein."\n\n[[You are injected.|AR5-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "As your highly-paid lawyer, I'll be here with you the entire time. Would you like to prepare a will?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I AM HERE TO WATCH YOU DIE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

//<<print either("YEARGH!!","AUUUGH!!","GRRARRGH!","PANCAKES AND GRAVY!","STAR DONGS!","BOY HOWDY!","GOOD GOLLY, MISS MOLLY!!","AAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!","GOSH!!")>>// This is incredibly painful!!\n\nAs you lay convulsing in pain on the table, you begin to <<print either("wonder if this is what it feels like to be an egg on a skillet","hallucinate that you are the ocean, an ocean made of bugs","think about all of your life choices that have brought you to this point","wonder if this was a bad idea","imagine every single person you've ever met, on fire")>>.\n\n[[But do you make it through alive??|AR5-3]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll > 1>>Nah. You die as poison consumes your body. And because you failed trial by poison, you're declared guilty! But on the brighter side, though -\n\nThere isn't really a brighter side.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<else>>Against all odds, //YES!// You survive the poison! You are <<print either( "paralyzed in several of your appendages","slightly mutated","permanently recolored","afflicted with a lasting fear of liquids","going to live probably five more years at most","way hairier than before","permanently-opened to the psychic maelstrom")>>, though. A small price to pay for freedom!\n\nYou are //innocent!//\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica says, "You know, some parents begin feeding their children poison when they're little, so they'll eventually build an immunity."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "HOW CAN YOU BE ALIVE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

<<set $favors = 0>>Reputation destroyed.\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

Thank you! Your response has been noted and will be passed to the Galactimagister's department!\n\nOne final question: would you participate in //Star Court// again?\n\n[[Yes.|SURVEY-RESTART]]\n[[No.|SURVEY-QUIT]]

<<set $evidence = true>>"The Prosecution would like to call...the accused to the stand."\n\nFine. You stand up - and then do a double-take! You're already sitting at the witness stand! Or, rather, a perfect duplicate of you is! What witchcraft is this??\n\n"I'd like to introduce," says Whisperbat, grinning broadly, "your clone. Created from DNA found in blood at the crime scene."\n\n"Hi," your duplicate waves.\n\n"Defense? Your cross-examination?"\n\n[[Try and prove your double is a fake!|PR5A]]\n[[This is insufficient evidence!|PR5B]]\n[["That's not how cloning works!"|PR5C]]\n[[Romance self.|PR5D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Is this your actual clone? Or is this one of Whisperbat's tricks?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "IF I MET A CLONE OF MYSELF I WOULD TOTALLY MAKE OUT WITH IT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $evidence = true>>Count Whisperbat draws a pentagram on the floor around the witness stand with what looks like blood, but you suspect may actually be ketchup. Then he lights several candles and chants several otherworldly syllables.\n\nThere's a POOF, and suddenly a horned, cigar-munching demon is sitting in the witness stand. "Your Majesty," says Whisperbat, "I give you the Crime Boss, the demonic lord of all crime!"\n\n"Hey, I remember you," says the Crime Boss, pointing a talon at you. "From when I impelled you to commit that crime."\n\n"Defense? Your cross-examination?"\n\n[["We can't just take this guy's word for it!"|PR4A]]\n[["'Demonic lord of all crime?'"|PR4B]]\n[[Quick! Rub out the pentagram!|PR4C]]\n[[Fight the crime boss.|PR4D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I think a physical confrontation with a demonic lord of crime is a bad idea. Keep him talking!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "IF YOU BEAT UP THE LORD OF CRIME, IT WILL PROVE YOU ARE NOT A CRIMINAL."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Would you say that you received a fair and impartial trial?\n\n[[Yes.|SURVEY-YES]]\n[[No.|SURVEY-NO]]

<<set $evidence = true>>"The Prosecution would like to call-"\n\n"Now, now! No names," comes a feline voice. Your eyes dart to the witness stand - there's a robed form sitting there, purring, where moments ago there wasn't! How did she do that?\n\n"The Prosecution calls a professional catburglar," Whisperbat smiles.\n\nThe witness sniffs the air. "Honey," she says, "I would know your scent anywhere."\n\n"Defense? Your cross-examination?"\n\n[["Are you calling me smelly?"|PR6A]]\n[[Question the validity of a professional criminal's testimony.|PR6B]]\n[["Do you by any chance like fish?"|PR6C]]\n[[Challenge the witness to a thieves' competition.|PR6D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "You don't smell that bad. I would be offended, if I were in your place."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIEF FIGHT. THIEF FIGHT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $evidence = true>>"The Prosecution calls a witness who can prove the accused was at the scene of the crime!"\n\n"It's true," says the little green creature who hops up onto the witness stand. "Got marks from the criminal's megabike all over the crime scene."\n\n"Defense? Your cross-examination?"\n\n[[Demand photographic evidence of megabike prints.|PR1A]]\n[["Hey! I don't even own a megabike!"|PR1B]]\n[[Insist your megabike was stolen the night of the crime.|PR1C]]\n[[Try and discredit the witness.|PR1D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Pressing for material evidence seems like the safest option here."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "MEGABIKES ARE COOL. CAN I BORROW YOURS WHILE YOU'RE IN JAIL?"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $evidence = true>><<set $timeline_altered = false>>"The Prosecution would like to call-"\n\nSuddenly there's a poof of smoke, and then a kind of douchey-looking guy wearing a tinfoil-silver suit is sitting in the witness stand. "Yes, that's right," he says. "I'm a time traveler. And I've travelled back in time to witness the very moment of your crime!"\n\n"The Prosecution would like to call a time traveler," concludes Whisperbat.\n\n"Defense? Your cross-examination?"\n\n[[Demand proof he was at the crime scene.|PR3A]]\n[[Get him to prove he's a real time traveller.|PR3B]]\n[[Debate the physics of time travel.|PR3C]]\n[["You're a real d-bag."|PR3D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "There's got to be a way you can disprove his claims - but maybe it'd be safer to press him for tangible evidence."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIS GUY SEEMS LIKE A REAL D-BAG."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $evidence = true>>"The Prosecution would like to call a PROFESSIONAL PSYCHIC!"\n\n"It's true," says the mysterious cloaked figure who climbs onto the witness stand. "I have had a vision, clear as crystal, of the witness performing the crime."\n\nFortunately, you're not without mental powers yourself - time to find out whether that training you did at Psi City was worth the expense!\n\n"Defense? Your cross-examination?"\n\n[[Demand the witness produce tangible evidence.|PR2A]]\n[[Reach out to the witness with your mind.|PR2B]]\n[[Duel the witness on the astral plane!|PR2C]]\n[[Try and discredit the witness's religion.|PR2D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Try and get the witness to present something more substantial than just her word. Maybe there's a way you can bribe her?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "ALL THIS PSYCHIC STUFF IS A BUNCH OF MALARKY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"You're in trouble, pal," says the Robailiff. The Judge is immediately informed of your illegal computer hacking. Things don't go so well for you after that.\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]

You're all out of favors! I guess working as a <<$job>>, living <<$house>> with a loyal <<$pet>> isn't so bad.\n\nYou live happily ever after.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>>

You close your eyes and concentrate. You imagine the events playing out in the witness's psychic bubble, but you imagine them //differently.// And you project your thoughts outwards.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>>"What is the cause of this absurd perversion??" howls Whisperbat. The image currently playing out in the bubble is the same, except that it's now COUNT DANIEL WHISPERBAT performing the crime! "Stop that! No! Enough!"\n\nHe leaps and pops the psychic bubble. The witness suddenly snaps out of her trance, looking very shaken.\n\n"I'm tossing out this whole incident," says the Judge. Whisperbat turns to you and snarls.<<else>>"Badass," says the Judge. Now, instead of merely committing the crime, you're committing the crime on a super-rad hoverboard, with lasers blasting from its front and glitter sparkling in its wake.\n\nEveryone in the court applauds as the you in the psychic bubble does a mid-air flip, lands on the hoverboard, and coasts away from the crime scene. The perfect crime, committed perfectly.\n\n"Beautiful," says the Judge. "You are truly a criminal mastermind."\n\nCount Whisperbat shrugs. I don't think this helped your case.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>"Cool," says the Judge after you've paid up. "'Knock yourselves out,' haha."\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<set $evidence = false>>Somehow you totally get your butt kicked. Your doppleganger pounds on you with what feel like boxing gloves, then hammers, then what feel like rows and rows of teeth.\n\n"My plan exactly!" you shout with a mouthful of blood. "If my duplicate can beat me in a fight, there's no way they can be my identical clone!"\n\nYou look up. The creature wailing on you has become some sort of huge-mouthed big-fisted hammer monster. "Oh, whoops. Yeah, I'm actually a shapeshifter. You found me out, I guess! Good for you." It gives you a soft punch on the shoulder and you fall over.\n\n"Hmmph!" grumbles Count Whisperbat as the shapeshifter slithers away. "MEDIC!" you shout.<<else>>You do exactly that. Your identical clone and you trade perfectly symmetrical blows until you are both lying on the ground with symmetrical bruises.\n\n"I am my own worst enemy," you mutter.\n\n"There we have it," says Whisperbat. "A perfect duplicate in every way. PROVING that the blood it was cloned from - the blood at the crime scene - belonged to none other than the accused!"\n\n"Ugh," you and your duplicate moan at the same time.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<else>>You can't afford to bribe the Judge! Instead you challenge your duplicate to a non-contact athletic competition to see if it can keep up!\n\n<<display 'PR5A-1'>><<endif>>

Useful mechanical functions.

"Hahaha, of course I take bribes, I'm crime incarnate! Why, do you wanna buy me off? It won't be cheap."\n\n[[Bribe the Crime Boss - 3 favors.|PR4B-6]]\n[["Uh - no thanks."|PR4B-7]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "That's steep! But there's got to be a reason."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "TOO RICH FOR MY BLOOD."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"My testimony stands," says the lord of crime. "I, the lord of crime, possessing all knowledge of all crime, am fully cognizant of the role you played in the crime of which you stand accused today."\n\n[["But you're just saying that! Why should anyone believe you?"|PR4A]]

Everyone stares at you. "Maybe you're unfamiliar with the legal history," says the Judge, "so I'll inform you. Psychic visions have been admissible as evidence in Star Court since 3515, Xando Vs. Nega-Xando, where Xando the Megamind used his psychic powers to prove that the culprit was a living projection of his own dark side and that he himself, therefore was innocent. The testimony stands."\n\nCount Whisperbat tut tuts at you smugly. What a bumpkiss.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Well, not all of them personally. I have an army of demonic minions who oversee most of the lesser crimes."\n\nHe points a fiery talon at you! "But crimes like //your// crime! Big, serious, terrible crimes! Those ones I oversee personally! As I oversaw yours."\n\n[["You can't just expect the court to believe you!"|PR4A]]

<<set $previous_witness = "B">><<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>"Heeey," says Valencia as she materializes in the holomat. The Duchess looks absolutely resplendant in a sharp black dress with a high crimson collar with a sort of spiderweb design around the fringe. A dark mist floats around her ankles; she gives it a little kick and it scampers away into the darkness. "Fresh," she giggles.\n\nCount Whisperbat harrumphs and turns his head away. You think he's intimidated by a higher level vampire than himself.\n\nSounds of howling and shrieking accompany the Duchess: she must be having one of her famous parties. Which is to say: it's nighttime. "What can I do for you?" she asks.\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DB-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DB-2]]<<else>>You're all out of favors! You try Valencia anyway, and Count Whisperbat snickers when it goes to a recording. "Hello and what the heck. You seem to be calling me in the daytime despite full well knowing I'm the undisputed queen of the nightlife. I'm in my coffin, 'taking the day off,' as they say. Call back when it's less bright out! Also, you are now cursed. Bye!"\n\nYou feel itchy.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

"Hahaha, oh yes. Many, many, many times. In many different ways!"\n\n"Aha!" you shout. "The witness just implicated himself!"\n\n"Yeah, but not in the crime you're being tried for," says the Judge. "This isn't even a murder trial."\n\nCount Whisperbat holds his hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Maybe you jumped the gun on that one.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"The cats have it! You are<<if $cats_guilty > $cats_innocent>> //GUILTY!//"\n\nFriggin cats. One of them meows at you.\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]<<endif>><<if $cats_innocent > $cats_guilty>> //INNOCENT!//"\n\nHooray! You stoop to pet a cat in thanks. It takes hold of your hand and licks it with its little sandpaper tongue for several minutes.\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]<<endif>><<if $cats_innocent eq $cats_guilty>>...uh. This has never happened before, but the cats seem evenly divided between innocent and guilty."\n\nIt's true.\n\n"I guess in this case we just...proceed with the trial as normal?"\n\nBummer.\n\n[[Resume court.|PROSECUTOR]]<<endif>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>"They're so cute!" Eccentrica coos.<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>"THEY ARE SO CUTE," buzzes the Public Defendroid.<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Hahahaha," he chuckles. "Oh, my child. I am LORD of crime. To get to that position I have committed every crime you can think of and several that I bet you can't."\n\n[["Have you committed...murder??"|PR4B-3]]\n[["Have you...taken bribes??"|PR4B-4]]\n[["Have you ever...told a lie??"|PR4B-5]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This guy's a career criminal. Maybe you can bribe him."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "HE'S GOT THE SMILE OF A MURDERER. I CAN TELL THESE THINGS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>"I need a drink really bad," you tell Triskelion. "Can you beam something over?"\n\n"Sure, what's your poison?" she asks.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 6>>"Gimme a Booby-Trapped Temple," you say.\n\n"What's that?"\n\n"It's a Shirley Temple with spikes in it."<<else>>"Gimme a <<print either("Binary Sunrise","Socket Bomb","Kessel Rum","Milky Way","NeoTokyo Tea","Sai Fai")>>," you say.<<endif>>\n\n"Comin' right up!" She mixes the ingredients in a tall glass, puts a curse on it complements of the house (a specialty of the Bone Zone), and slides it into the transmat. In a few moments it appears in front of you.\n\nYou take a long sip. "<<print either("Yow, that's strong.","Yum, that's really tasty.")>>"\n\n"I'll have to take your word for it," she says, giving you a lipless smile. "I can't actually taste the drinks."\n\n"Thanks, Tri. I needed that."\n\n"Anytime, friend. Good luck with the trial!" She hangs up.<<else>>You don't have enough favors!\n\n"Hey, in spite of whatever you may have been taught growing up, drinks aren't free! And while we're on that subject, let's talk about this outstanding tab of yours! And believe me, OUTSTANDING is the word for it!"\n\n"Sorry Tri gotta go bye!" You hang up.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

[[Wave your hands around.|AR6-CATS]]\n[[Make meowing noises at the cats.|AR6-CATS]]\n[[Snap your fingers.|AR6-CATS]]\n[[Say "Here kitty kitty kitty."|AR6-CATS]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $character = true>>"You're not so bad for a skinwalker," she says. "I remember that one time you were really there for me. After that break-up? I was a real mess. Just sobbing non-stop. Good thing I don't cry actual tears, or some customers' drinks woulda been way more salty than they asked for!"\n\nShe puts down the glass she's cleaning. "Heh, I'm so embarrassed you let me whine at you so long! Stuff like 'boo hoo, it's so tough having a life when you're a skeleton magically animated to work a bar twenty-four seven! You really let me carry on!"\n\n"'This is highly unorthodox,' I remember you saying," you tell her.\n\n"Hahah. Yeah, you're a good egg. You can tell the court I said so."\n\n"They're already listening to everything you say."\n\n"Eeh! Thinking about so many people watching me rattles my bones. I'm gonna get back to the bar. Good luck!" She vanishes.<<else>><<set $character = false>>"Character, huh? Like being a good citizen and whatnot? Does that involve PAYING YOUR TAB? Because buster, you still owe me for I can't remember how many drinks. I may be made of bones but that doesn't mean I like being stiffed."\n\n"Let's talk about this later," you say.\n\n"When later? When you're in space jail? I HOPE THEY GIVE YOU THE CHAIR!! A really nice, comfy chair. And then make you sit in it for a really long time!"\n\nShe hangs up.\n\nGeez.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

"What? No, the many-worlds theory means that just that DOESN'T happen. Read up on time travel and then use it to come back here and give me a REAL debate."\n\n<<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 6>>The only thing Pride finds more beautiful than itself is the destruction of those less beautiful than it! In this case, I mean you!\n\nYou're totally wrecked! I guess this means you're guilty!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<else>>While Pride is admiring its reflection in your eyes, you take your chance to sucker-punch the beast!\n\nHaha, whoa! You've survived two out of four battles!\n\n<<display 'AR1-5'>><<endif>>

Your third opponent is Sloth - a pillowy behemoth who looks to be on the verge of falling asleep.\n\n[[Fight!|AR1-6]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "You could probably take this guy."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WELL. YOU PROBABLY HAVE A CHANCE HERE, ACTUALLY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Immediately upon starting the battle, the titanic creature falls asleep!<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 2>> However, before you can declare victory, it rolls over on top of you!\n\nYou're crushed! Which I guess means you're guilty!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<else>> You are victorious!\n\nThat leaves only one battle to go!\n\nYour final opponent is Anger, a boiling being spitting fire from four snarling mouths. Motivated purely by fury, this creature cannot be bribed, it can only be fought.\n\n[[Fight!|AR1-7]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Yikes. Good luck."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I WILL MISS YOU."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>\n

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 6>>You burn in the creature's four fiery mouths!\n\nYou're dead! I guess that means you're guilty!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<else>>It takes a really long time, but you manage to spit on the creature enough that its fires go out! It slumps to the floor, defeated.\n\nWOW! You've conquered all four battles and proven your innocence by killing your enemies!\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica says, "Wow. That was hot."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I ALWAYS KNEW YOU HAD IT IN YOU."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

"I've never seen these before in my life," you say coolly.\n\n"Grr," growls Whisperbat, tossing them on the floor. He skulks off.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

Your first opponent is Avarice, a creature with a hundred grasping purple arms.\n\n[[Bribe Avarice - 3 favors.|AR1-1BRIBE]]\n[[Fight!|AR1-2]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Bribery seems like a sure-fire way to win this fight! Unfortunately for you, you seem to have spent the funds on my lawyer's fee. I want you to know how much I appreciate that."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "ITS MANY ARMS WILL REND YOUR BODY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 5>>You are torn limb from limb by the many-limbed creature!\n\nI guess this means you're guilty!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<else>>You manage to get a finger into one of the creature's many armpits and tickle it into submission!\n\nWow! You've survived the first battle out of four!\n\n<<display 'AR1-3'>><<endif>>

Your second opponent is Pride, an enormous, muscled Adonis with a lion head.\n\n[[Appeal to Pride's vanity - 1 favor.|AR1-3BRIBE]]\n[[Fight!|AR1-4]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This is a strong opponent - even more dangerous than the last! If you can find a way to appeal to its vanity, I strongly recommend it!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHAT A MAJESTIC CREATURE. YOU DON'T STAND A CHANCE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>You use your cyberbrain to send a quick message to Trouble_Bruin, ace hacker and actual bear. "On it, pal," comes the reply, which deletes itself without a trace as soon as it's read.\n\nA few minutes later, you receive another email. "Dude, it's made of paper. There's nothing I can really do here."\n\nThe psychic begins cackling to herself.<<else>>You can't afford to call in your hacker friend! The message stays - and the message is that you did it.<<endif>>\n\nThere's no way around a piece of paper that explicitly spells out your guilt.\n\nCount Whisperbat titters with glee.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 2>><<display 'AR2-GUILTY'>><<else>>//CLICK.//\n\nAHAHAHAHA! You've done it! You've cheated death again! People will talk about your amazing escape for decades! You'll be in all the holo-vids! You'll -\n\nAnd then you notice your robot duplicate sitting there, somberly. You fall back into your chair. It meets your gaze for a second as it picks up the raygun, and you want to say something, but now you don't know what to say. You both know what has to come next.\n\nYour robot duplicate swallows, blinks, blinks again, and raises the gun to its head.\n\n[[And pulls the trigger.|AR2-INNOCENT]]<<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<display 'AR2-INNOCENT'>><<else>>//CLICK.//\n\nYour duplicate bursts into laughter, not even trying to hold it back as it reaches over to hand you the raygun. It still doesn't make eye contact.\n\nFour clicks so far. That leaves two more slots in the chamber. If you survive this, you've won. You walk out of here an innocent being.\n\nQuiet as ice, you lift the raygun to your head. Here we go.\n\n[[Pull the trigger.|AR2-6]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "One safe chamber, one not! That's a coin flip! You can win a coin flip!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "OH BOY OH BOY OH BOY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<display 'AR2-GUILTY'>><<else>>//CLICK.//\n\nJeepers golly gosh! Oh boy! You drop the gun back on the table, shaking all over with nervous excitement. You're //still alive//.\n\nYour robot duplicate doesn't make eye contact as it slowly reaches for the gun, slowly lifts it, slowly points the gun at its forehead. It waits a long second, then it closes its eyes. And then -\n\n[[What happens next??|AR2-5]]<<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<display 'AR2-INNOCENT'>><<else>>//CLICK.//\n\nYour robot duplicate exhales, a smile spreading across its face. But it suppresses the smile as it looks up to hand the raygun over to you.\n\nOh jeepers. Your hand is trembling a little bit as you hold the gun to your head. How long will your luck hold out?\n\n[[Pull the trigger.|AR2-4]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Okay, now it's a one-in-four chance. The odds are still in your favor!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIS IS GETTING GOOD."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 6>><<display 'AR2-GUILTY'>><<else>>//CLICK.//\n\nPhew! That wasn't the loaded chamber! You hand the raygun to your nervous-looking duplicate slowly raises the gun to its forehead, takes a deep breath, and prepares to pull the trigger.\n\n[[What happens next??|AR2-3]]<<endif>>

You sit at a table with a normal, non-decript-looking raygun lying on it. Across from you sits a robot duplicate of yourself. "I represent the crime of which you are accused."\n\n"Only one of the six laser bolts in the raygun's barrel is charged," says the Robailiff, giving the chamber a spin. "You will point the raygun at your head and pull the trigger. If the raygun discharges, you are guilty according to ancient law. Otherwise, it is your opponent's turn." Your duplicate waves meekly. "If your opponent causes the raygun to discharge, you are innocent. The trial goes on for, at most, six rounds."\n\nGulping, you lift the raygun and point it at your head.\n\n[[Pull the trigger.|AR2-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "There's only a, what, one in six chance this will kill you? That's not so bad."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "HOORAY. I LOVE THIS GAME."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"You're a-" "No, YOU'RE a d-bag," he says first. Damn, time travellers are really hard to get the last word on.\n\n"Defense," says the Judge, "your cross-examination?"\n\n[[Demand proof he was at the crime scene.|PR3A]]\n[[Get him to prove he's a real time traveller.|PR3B]]\n[[Debate the physics of time travel.|PR3C]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I don't feel like a debate into the nature of time travel would help your case right now."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "TIME TRAVEL IS TOTALLY IMPOSSIBLE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Ahaha, but you've walked right into my trap!" snickers Whisperbat. "BEHOLD! I submit as evidence to the court this photograph of the crime scene!"\n\nThe photo is holographically projected into the courtroom. "The lines thou canst observe in this photo are megabike tracks leading away from the crime scene."\n\nSeems like solid evidence...or is it??\n\n[[Hack the holograph machine to change the photo - 1 favor.|PR1A-1]]\n[["There's something wrong with this photo."|PR1A-2]]\n[["I don't even own a megabike!"|PR1B]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "If you know a good hacker, calling in a favor might be a good idea. If you can't afford that, bluffing's worth a shot. Maybe you can figure out a discrepancy in the photograph."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "YOU DO OWN A MEGABIKE, RIGHT?"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"My megabike was stolen shortly before the crime!" you proclaim.\n\n"Surely thou hast evidence to prove thy claim," Whisperbat smiles. A sinister smile.\n\n[[Present a photo to the court.|PR1C-1]]\n[[Present the keys to the megabike.|PR1C-2]]\n[[Present a record.|PR1C-3]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "If you have a photo that proves the bike was stolen, you should show it!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THE KEYS TELL THE STORY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"I can't possibly own a megabike," you say as you slide out from behind the Defense's desk<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 4>> to reveal your cybernetic lower body, complete with wheels. "Why would I need a megabike when my body IS a megabike?"\n\nThere is nodding and assent from the assembly. "The accused is right," says the little green creature on the witness stand. "Those wheels could just as easily have made the tracks at the crime scene."\n\nCount Whisperbat grins triumphantly. Oops.<<else>><<set $evidence = false>> to reveal that you're all tentacles from the waist down.\n\n"There's no way someone with tentacles for a trunk could fit in a megabike!" says the little green creature on the witness stand.\n\nCount Whisperbat snarls.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

The little green creature smiles at you. The only way you're going to get out of this is by convincing the court this fellow didn't see what it claims it saw.\n\n[[Question the witness's eyesight.|PR1D-1]]\n[["What were you doing at the crime scene, anyway?"|PR1D-2]]\n[["How do you know it was a megabike?"|PR1D-3]]\n[[Call the witness ugly.|PR1D-4]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This witness hasn't told the whole story yet. See if you can press for more evidence."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHAT AN UGLY CREATURE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $lawyer = "none">>All lawyers are erased from the timeline.\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

"Oh? And who was it? Reginos, the Master of Disguise?"\n\n"Probably!" you squeal.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>>"Oh," she says. "That makes a lot of sense."\n\nCount Whisperbat groans, having lost hold of your criminal connections. That trail has gone cold.\n\n"Reginos," says the catburglar. "Hmm."<<else>>"Reginos got busted back in '55! Shortly after your last meeting, right? You and Reginos always were chummy."\n\nYou sink into your seat, pouting.\n\n"The accused's ties to a criminal society have been firmly established," says Count Whisperbat with an air of the gloat about him.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<>\n<<set $evidence = false>>\n<<set $alibi = false>>\n<<set $character = false>>\n<<set $timeline_altered = false>>\n<<set $previous_witness = "none">>\n<<set $judge_bribed = false>>\n<<endnobr>>The Robailiff's chest springs open to reveal a glowing red button. "Robailiff," says the Judge, "initiate timewarp!"\n\nThe Robailiff pushes the button and everything\n\nslows\n\nd o w n . . .\n\n. . . and then races backwards, stopping with a sudden //snap!// that makes you nearly fall from your chair!\n\nYou hear the laser gavel pound! The trial's been reset - but for some reason the favors you've spent are still gone! Bribery is eternal, I guess.\n\nYou hear Whisperbat cackling about bringing you to justice. Ugh, this guy again. This time you'll show him.\n\n[[Resume trial.|PROSECUTION]]

"Order in Star Court," demands the Judge, banging their laser gavel. "Will the jury please present their verdict."\n\nA <<print either("tiny green creature","floating mass of eyes","droid covered in tiny blinking lights","humming balloon-like creature","perfect geometrical floating pyramid","being of pure, shining light","loping, six-legged creature","slug-like being with a tiny, well-trimmed moustache","tiny spider")>> crosses the courtroom and hands a slip of paper to the Judge, then returns to the jury box. The Judge unfolds the paper, looks at it, squints at it, folds it back up, and places it aside. They clear their throat to speak.\n\n[[Receive verdict.|R-VERDICT]]

"Well, technically, yeah. But I can travel to a universe that is identical to the universe I came from except that I poof back into existence moments after I poof away into the past. So as far as I'm concerned, the experience maintains continuity."\n\n<<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>>

<<set $evidence = false>>"Ho ho," says the Crime Boss. "I guess you caught me! Count Whisperbat bribed me to come here and testify against you!"\n\n"Dingbats!" curses the Count.\n\n"What do I care, I'm the prince of crime! I've already spent the money! Haha!"\n\n//"DISPELL!"// cries Whisperbat, and a sudden wind puts out the candles and returns the Crime Boss to whichever demonic plane he hails from. Whisperbat storms off sulkily, not even cleaning the pentagram from the floor.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"There's nothing wrong with my ID card," she says.\n\n"What about this card, praytell, is in error?" challenges Whisperbat.\n\n[[Look at the expiration date!|PR6B-9]]\n[[Look at the photo!|PR6B-10]]\n[[Look at the date of birth!|PR6B-11]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Thieves' Guild membership is age-restricted, I think. They got into trouble a while ago for letting street urchins join."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "SOMETHING'S OFF ABOUT THAT PHOTO, I CAN TELL."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You throw your voice to the other side of the courtroom, and when everyone turns to look who said "BUTT," you swipe the ID! Haha! Without this she's no longer under protection of the Thieves' Guild!\n\nWait, something's fishy about this ID. You take a closer look: "YOU GOT CHUMPED, SUCKER" it says!\n\n"What master thief would let her own ID get stolen?" says the catburglar, sliding her //real// ID card out of a pocket. "Heh heh."\n\n"The court shall add 'identity theft' to the charges against the accused," says Count Whisperbat with a grin.\n\nOh man.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $alibi = true>>"What were you doing when? Oh, that night. Yeah, you were in the bar that night. Not representing yourself particularly well, if you follow me. Telling people that you were a robot who could analyze the chemical make-up of any liquid, to try and get people to buy you drinks. You made some very impressive guesses, I recall." She tosses her hair.\n\n"But yeah, you were in no state to be pulling any kind of heist that night, no way."\n\n"Hmph," grumbles Count Whisperbat. Guy probably doesn't get out much.<<else>><<set $evidence = true>>"What were you doing when? Oh, that night. Probably pulling that job you were always bragging about. What was it? <<$crime>>?"\n\n"Uh, I don't know what you're talking about."\n\n"Everyone at the bar did!" Triskelion laughs. "Next time you're gonna pull a job like that, maybe be careful how much you drink! Haha!"\n\n"Heh," laughs Count Whisperbat, one of those obnoxious "I win" half-laughs. Ugh.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

"Oh, don't play like you don't know. I've seen you at a meeting or two."\n\n"Ah hahaha!" Whisperbat cavorts. "Testimony that the accused is a member of a society of criminals!"\n\n[["That wasn't me!"|PR6B-6]]\n[["Does that one guy still go to meetings? 'Eulogy?'"|PR6B-7]]\n[["I just went to one meeting, okay!"|PR6B-8]]\n[[Challenge her to a thieves' competition!|PR6D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "One meeting is just an experiment! Everyone experiments once or twice."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHO IS EULOGY?"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"What about the background?"\n\n"The part that shows the actual crime! It's out of focus! The focus is on you posing in the foreground."\n\nHe looks at the photo for a minute. "Okay no problem, be right back." There's a poof and he's gone. Seconds later, there's another poof and he's returned. "Check it out," he says.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $evidence = false>>Now the photo is completely filled with the time traveller - there are like, nine of him posing, making duck mouths and peace signs and putting the horns on each other. The actual crime scene isn't visible at all!\n\n"We ended up, uh, retaking the photo a few times. I kept going back to try and get the perfect shot!"\n\nWhisperbat is pulling at his hair. "This is no longer permissible as evidence," says the Judge.\n\n"Whatever. I'm going back to party with my bros." The time traveller poofs away into the past. Count Whisperbat grumps in the corner.<<else>>Now the crime scene is in perfect focus - as is the foreground, which now includes two of the time traveller, posing with their arms around each other and giving each other knucks. "I went and got a deep focus lens," he says. "It's the perfect photo."\n\nThe perfect piece of evidence, too! Count Whisperbat is chuckling to himself.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<set $previous_witness = "G">>"Hello," says the Hive, speaking through <<print either("Fergie","Robjob","License Plate","Sublumina","Apple Peach","Pancake","Rewind","Zootsuit")>>. "Oh, it's you! Sally says hello! Merriweather says hello! Meander says-"\n\n"Hi, everyone. Nice robe."\n\n"Oh, do you like them?" asks the Hive, the form on the holomat modelling it for you. "We all got them. To reinforce our sense of one-ness, you see."\n\n"For sure," you say. \n\n"We've all been taking voice lessons to make our voices sound more similar. That's the big project around here lately. It seems really silly to an outsider, maybe, but it's amazing how much more comfortable it makes us feel in our skins."\n\n"Way cool."\n\n"Oh, so what do you need us for?"\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DG-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DG-2]]

"You always thought of yourself as a maverick," says the Judge. "Very well. It's your funeral."\n\n<<display 'CRIME-PLEAD'>>

"Rude," she says.\n\n<<display 'PR6-BRIBE'>>

"You'll have to-" "Yeah yeah fine."\n\nThere's a poof and the time traveller's gone. Then another poof and he's back.<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>> "Okay, here." He reaches into his timesuit and pulls out a laser phaser, a sonic lockpick, and a pair of sweet antigravity boots. "Here, okay? This is all the stuff you used to do the crime, I went back and grabbed it."\n\nMurmurs in the courtroom.\n\n"So -" the Judge starts "- you went back to the crime scene. You took these from the criminal - while the crime was being committed?"\n\n"Hell yeah I did. They're 100% fresh."\n\n"So -" The Judge rubs their forehead. "So the crime might not even have happened now because you stole the criminal's equipment, or maybe you just stole all the evidence, or - Listen, I don't think this thing you just did was okay."\n\nThe time traveller scrunches up his face. "Ugh, fine, whatever. Have fun with your trial, I'm out." He's gone in a poof.\n\n"I guess thou canst have this stuff back," says Whisperbat, handing you the stuff he left behind.\n\n[[Take it.|PR3A-6]]\n[[Leave it.|PR3A-7]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "As your legal counsel I advise you to maybe not claim ownership of the tools used to commit the crime."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "GRAVITY BOOTS, COOL."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<else>> "Okay, I took a video this time." He holds up a VHS tape.\n\n"I uh," says Whisperbat, "thinketh this courtroom doth be noth equipped with -"\n\n"Oh yeah yeah what was I thinking." The time traveller poofs again, then returns with a VHS player. He pops in the video.\n\n"Hey hey get my good side," says a recording of the time traveller to the person holding the camera, presumably a more recent version of the time traveller. "It's my front. My front is my good side." "Shut up, it's about to start."\n\nWhat follows is a pretty indisputable recording of the crime. "This is what it's all about," says the older time traveller, "history." "Alright, I gotta get back to court." "Cool, catch you later, bro." "You mean BE me later. Because you will!" "Hahaha, you're a trip, bro. I love this guy."\n\nThe recording stops. "Is that gonna be all?" asks the time traveller. "I wanna drop this VHS in the past and really confuse someone." "That's court evidence!" says Whisperbat. "Okay, I'll just hop to after the trial's done." He poofs away again.\n\nThat was a pretty convincing piece of evidence! Count Whisperbat is steepling his fingers triumphantly.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<endif>>

"Well I don't want to get delusions of grandeur or anything. But close enough. This is the universe that is the same as the universe I came from until the moment I popped in to witness your crime."\n\n[["But you changed this universe by doing that!"|PR3C-9]]\n[["Aren't you only allowed to testify in your home universe?"|PR3C-10]]

<<set $dieroll = either(1,2,3,4,5,6)>><<if $debug>>//(Die roll: <<$dieroll>>) <<endif>>

"This photo-" "There's nothing wrong with it!" he interrupts. "I took it myself!"\n\n"Oh, hast thou an objection to the photo?" chuckles Whisperbat. "I'd love to hear specifically what thy issue with yon photograph is." He doesn't notice the time traveller miming his every word and gesture.\n\n[["Look at the background."|PR3A-3]]\n[["Look at the timestamp."|PR3A-4]]\n[["Look at what he's wearing."|PR3A-5]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "He never claimed he just came from taking the photo. Changes in his outfit are immaterial."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "LOOK WHAT THIS GUY'S WEARING. WHAT A D-BAG."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Your doppleganger's knowledge of your life is encyclopedic, you can't find a flaw in its answers. Maybe trivia was the wrong tree to bark up.\n\n"There can be no doubt that the witness is the accused's clone," says Whisperbat, "PROVING that the blood it was cloned from - the blood at the crime scene - belonged to none other than the accused!"\n\nPoint to Whisperbat, I guess. He chuckles victoriously.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"A career criminal," says your clone with a smile.\n\nDamn. Another correct answer.\n\n[["What's my hometown?"|PR5A-5]]\n[["Childhood pet?"|PR5A-6]]\n[["Mother's maiden name?"|PR5A-7]]\n[[Give up.|PR5A-9]]

Part two of the trial loop.

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<set $alibi = true>>"What were you doing at the time of the crime? Oh, darling, don't you remember escorting me to the gala premiere of that spy thriller, 'Shoot the Moon.'" She winks.\n\n"Dost thou have any evidence of this?" asks Whisperbat. "Photos of thyself with the accused?"\n\n"Yeah, sure. I'll have my photo doc send them over as soon as they're done being airbrushed." She winks at you again. All this winking would probably look suspicious if she had more than one eye. It just looks like she's blinking.\n\n"Thanks, Venus," you say.\n\n"Call me later, darling, after this dreadful court business is done with."<<else>>"What were you doing at the time of the crime? Oh, what do I look like, darling - your agent? I know you agent, I could have my agent call your agent. I don't speak to agents normally, not even my own. I have an elaborate system of gestures I can use to communicate my desires to her without actually having to look at or acknowledge her presence. It helps them to not get delusions of grandeur, you know."\n\nThis is not what you were hoping for.\n\n"Anyway, I do hope you get your scheduling mess sorted out, I'm needed on set. Ta-ta!"\n\nShe's gone.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

"You smell pretty nice, actually," she purrs. "But I stopped by the crime scene to give it a sniff. And sweetheart, your scent was all over the place."\n\n"Conclusively placing the accused at the scene of the crime," adds Whisperbat with a smirk.\n\n[["Just being there doesn't mean I did it!"|PR6A-1]]\n[[Argue the validity of scent evidence.|PR6A-2]]\n[["Do you sniff all the crime scenes?"|PR6A-3]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Scent evidence totally holds up in modern court. They can place you at the crime scene, but they can't prove you committed the crime!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "SMELLING THINGS IS FOR LOSERS. I DON'T HAVE A NOSE AND I GET BY JUST FINE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Hey now, all of my paperwork's in order. I've got my Thieves' Guild ID card right here! I'm operating in accordance with Guild code and legal practices!"\n\n[[Demand to see said identification.|PR6B-1]]\n[["Thieves' Guild?"|PR6B-2]]\n[[Ask if she accepts bribes.|PR6C]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Maybe her paperwork isn't as airtight as she thinks."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIEVES' GUILD? I'VE HEARD THE SOLAR SENATE CALLED A LOT OF THINGS, BUT-"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Hell yes I do. You gonna give me a fish?"\n\n[[Give her a fish - 1 favor.|PR6C-1]]\n[["Nope."|PR6C-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "As your legal counsel, I must advise you against giving away all your fish."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "DON'T YOU THINK SHE DESERVES ONE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You hop, leap, turn cartwheels, balance on one tentacle, and breakdance. Your duplicate is a perfect mirror - keeping up with you with an almost supernatural athleticism. There's an elasticity to its movements that makes it seem effortless. When you're bent over panting at the end, though, your duplicate is too.\n\n"There we have it," says Whisperbat. "A perfect duplicate in every way. PROVING that the blood it was cloned from - the blood at the crime scene - belonged to none other than the accused!"\n\nYou're too tired to argue. Whisperbat snickers triumphantly.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

The tiny creature swells up with pride, puffing out its tiny body. "I'll have you know my pod-mother was a megabike mechanic, as was her pod-mother before her. My clone-siblings and I grew up surrounded by megabikes. You couldn't exhale in our home for all the megabike parts crammed in every room. By the time I was a cycle I could tell an MK-1 Crank Core from an M6 Blister Brain. I could hotwire a Zap Engine in ten seconds flat. Tell me I don't know about megabikes," it snuffles angrily.\n\n"There we have it," says Count Whisperbat, "we have heard from an EXPERT witness on the subject of megabikes that a megabike was indeed present at the scene of our crime. The accused's megabike!"\n\nWhisperbat looks quite pleased with himself.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"The one behind your ear shaped like a <<print either("crescent moon","lawn gnome","frying pan","sailboat","manta ray","raygun","one-celled organism in the middle of mitosis","sack of dollar bills","lightning bolt","toaster","ice cream truck")>>?" It turns its head and pushes its ear forward.\n\nThat's the one. Damn.\n\n[["What about my OTHER secret birthmark?"|PR5A-10]]\n[["What about my favorite color?"|PR5A-2]]\n[["What about matching this series of arduous athletic stunts?"|PR5A-1]]\n[["What about meeting me in martial combat??"|PR5A-4]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Do you really have another birthmark?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "NO WAY THIS THING KNOWS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"<<print either("Periwinkle","Heliotrope","Burgundy","Chartreuse","Eggshell","Mauve","Polka dot","Magenta","Purple","Robin's egg blue","Tickle me pink","Green Apple Sally","Midnight blue","Crimson","Electric blue","Neon green","Leopard print")>>, of course."\n\nDamn. It's true.\n\nAny other questions?\n\n[["What's my hometown?"|PR5A-5]]\n[["Childhood pet?"|PR5A-6]]\n[["Mother's maiden name?"|PR5A-7]]\n[["What did I want to be when I grew up?"|PR5A-8]]\n[[Give up.|PR5A-9]]

"Tharsis City on Mars, the east side, Jillojun province. Right in the shadow of the Queen's pleasure palace. Right by that park with the trunkless puffowump trees."\n\nAnother correct answer.\n\n[["Childhood pet?"|PR5A-6]]\n[["Mother's maiden name?"|PR5A-7]]\n[["What did I want to be when I grew up?"|PR5A-8]]\n[[Give up.|PR5A-9]]

"I couldn't allow that kind of violence to go on in my courtroom," says the Judge, "without a bribe. Wouldn't the two of you just, like, self-annihilate anyway?"\n\n[[Bribe the Judge to fight your clone - 1 favor.|PR5A-11]]\n[[Challenge your clone to an athletic competition instead.|PR5A-1]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Fighting's risky, but maybe you can get it to reveal a weakness."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "YOU COULD OUT SPORTS THIS BOZO ANY DAY OF THE WEEK."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Vulvina. The Conqueror."\n\nAnother correct answer.\n\n[["What's my hometown?"|PR5A-5]]\n[["Childhood pet?"|PR5A-6]]\n[["What did I want to be when I grew up?"|PR5A-8]]\n[[Give up.|PR5A-9]]

<<set $evidence = true>>"Ha //HA!//" laughs Whisperbat. "You admit these our your possessions - these tools which, it's been established, were used to perpetrate the crime!"\n\nOof. You walked into that one. Whisperbat is ebullient.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Ha!" she laughs. "That guy who was always telling everyone 'they call me Eulogy because my name is the last thing you say before they put you into the ground?' Haha, no, they asked that guy to stop coming to meetings. He wasn't even a member!"\n\n"What a weirdo," you agree.\n\n"As you can see, your Majesty," says Whisperbat sneerfully, "the accused is intimately familiar with the workings of an established criminal organization."\n\nYou didn't really make a good case for yourself there, I guess.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<print either("One of the cats stares at you.","The cats all seem to ignore you.","One of the cats begins licking itself.","One of the cats looks at you for a second, then goes back to licking itself.","One of the cats lays down on its side.","Several of the cats watch you for a minute, then stop.","One of the cats lowers its ears, nervous.")>>\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll <= 3>>One of the cats walks to the INNOCENT side of the courtroom.<<set $cats_innocent = $cats_innocent + 1>><<else>>One of the cats walks to the GUILTY side of the courtroom.<<set $cats_guilty = $cats_guilty + 1>><<endif>><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 1 and $cats_guilty > 0>> One of the cats walks from the GUILTY side of the courtroom back to the middle.<<set $cats_guilty = $cats_guilty - 1>><<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 6 and $cats_innocent > 0>> One of the cats walks from the INNOCENT side of the courtroom back to the middle.<<set $cats_innocent = $cats_innocent - 1>><<endif>>\n\n<<set $cat_minutes = $cat_minutes - 1>><<if $cat_minutes eq 0>>//"ENOUGH!"// booms the Robailiff. "Ten minutes have passed!"\n\n[[The cats have made their decision.|AR6-2]]<<else>>There are now <<$cats_innocent>> cats on the INNOCENT side, <<$cats_guilty>> cats on the GUILTY side, and <<print 10 - $cats_innocent - $cats_guilty>> cats in the middle.\n\n<<display AR6-CHOICES>><<endif>>

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<set $evidence = false>>You call up one of your buddies at the Thieves' Guild and have her run a check on the ID.\n\n"Well, well, well," you chuckle. "When was the last time you paid your membership dues?"\n\nHer eyes go wide. "Frick! I totally forgot to mail the check!"\n\n"As of the start of this month, this ID is EXPIRED! You're no longer protected by the Thieves' Guild! I'm making a citizen's arrest!"\n\n"You'll never take me alive!" she yells, tossing a smoke bomb. When the smoke clears, she's long gone.\n\n"My witness!" Count Whisperbat hisses at you.<<else>>You call up one of your buddies at the Thieves' Guild and have her run a check on the ID.\n\n"Sorry, mac, she's legit."\n\n"Uh, who art thou on the phone with right now?" Whisperbat grabs your gravity phone. "Hello? Thieves' Guild?? Ohohoho," he chortles. "It seems as though the accused has some criminal connections after all."\n\nWell, that didn't go as well as you planned.<<endif>><<else>>You'd call up one of your buddies at the Thieves' Guild and have her run the ID, but you're out of clout with the Guild.\n\n"Wait, why do you have buddies at the Thieves' Guild?" asks Whisperbat. "Ohohoho! You have //criminal connections!//" he chortles.\n\nPoop.\n\nThe catburgler cleans herself while Whisperbat does a victory dance.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Don't kink-shame," she says.\n\nAnyway, where were we? "The witness placed you at the crime scene using her nose," says Whisperbat.\n\n[["Just being there doesn't mean I did it!"|PR6A-1]]\n[[Argue the validity of scent evidence.|PR6A-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "They have you at the crime scene, but that's all!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "NOSES? NO WAY. THAT'S AN ANTI-SCENT SLOGAN I'VE BEEN WORKING ON."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Are you sure you just like sniffing crime scenes?" you ask, "or is it part of your job?"\n\n"Fine," she grumbles. "The Thieves' Guild employs me to regularly take orifactory inventories of crime scenes. They like to keep tabs on who hit what."\n\n[["Thieves' Guild??"|PR6B-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Thieves' Guild??"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIEVES' GUILD??"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Those are really sweet shades," says the Judge.\n\n"Why aren't you wearing them now??" you accuse.\n\n"Dude, I lost them. I lost them right after taking this photo, in fact."\n\nYou pat your pocket. You reach inside and pull out the glasses from the photo. Oh.\n\n"Can I have those back?" asks the time traveller. Count Whisperbat chuckles.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

She produces a laminated piece of paper with an official-looking seal. Aw, It's got a paw print on it! And an ID number: 000006. "It's not a very big guild," she says.\n\n"Anyway, as you can see, I'm totally legit, and authorized to be here."\n\n[[Steal the ID!|PR6B-3]]\n[["There's something fishy about this ID card."|PR6B-4]]\n[[Run a check on the ID card - 1 favor.|PR6B-5]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "If you have the contacts, maybe it's worth running her ID card. Something seems suspicious about it."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "YOU COULD OUT-THIEF THIS LADY IN A HEARTBEAT, NO QUESTION."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You use a psionic mindblast to shoot the sphere out of Whisperbat's hands. It rebounds around the courtroom at high speed while everyone screams and ducks. It's a really fast bouncing ball and also a gun. Everyone is terrified.\n\nThere's a horrible crash as the sphere finally shatters and everyone braces for the laser blast! But it never happens. You look at the shattered crystal of the hoversphere - the gun is totally missing.\n\n"Looking for this?" says the catburglar, who is holding the thing in her paw. Damn, she's good.\n\n"Mmmmm," she says, holding the thing to her nose. "No doubt about it. That's our customer over there."\n\n"Marvelous," says Count Whisperbat. His smile is worse than the worst grimace.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>>You release an invisible cloud of pheromones from your hidden scent glands. The catburglar tries to sniff the gun for your scent, but she starts giggling uncontrollably!\n\nSoon everyone in the courtroom is giggling, including Whisperbat, whose giggle sounds totally stilted, like he's just saying "ha ha ha" out loud. Like maybe he's never really giggled in innocent delight in his life, and has maybe just read about it in a book.\n\nAnyway the witness is just rolling around on the floor at this point, she can't even smell anything other than the pheromones, and everyone else is too giddy to care, and also some of them maybe want to make out with you at this point.\n\nThe Judge bangs their laser gavel. Count Whisperbat glares at you in barely-reined fury, while continuing to giggle.<<else>>You fart. Your species farts helium, though, so all that happens is everyone's voice gets really high-pitched and funny.\n\n"Please, M'lady, sniff the weapon," Whisperbat says in the voice of a one-year-old.\n\n"Definitely the accused," responds a chipmunk. "Ooh, I feel a little dizzy."\n\nThat didn't really help, but you feel a little more relieved. Whisperbat HMPHS victoriously.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

You remember you training at Psi City and concentrate, imagining an invisible finger reaching through the sphere to pull the trigger. As Whisperbat cracks the hoversphere open, the lasgun fires -<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $evidence = false>> blasting a hole through his chest.\n\n"Hm," he says, looking down at the tunnel burned straight through his body. "If I was a Level <<print $prosecution_level - 1>> or less Vampire Lord, I might not have survived that," he says.\n\nThe witness can't smell the gun, though, over the scent of burning flesh. Victory!\n\n"Ouch," says Count Whisperbat.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<else>><<if $lawyer != "none">><<if $lawyer eq "good">> blasting Eccentrica Charming right in the gut. "You'll have to go on without me," she moans through the pain of the gaping hole in her torso. "I've taught you everything I know - make me proud."\n\nHer last words are "You didn't really pay me enough for this."<<else>> blasting the Public Defendroid. "THIS IS FINE," it buzzes. "I HAD GROWN TIRED OF SYNTHETIC LIFE." With a final spark of escaping energy, its LED eyes go dark.<<endif>>\n\n<<set $lawyer = "none">>Anyway, after a brief moment of silence the catburglar gets to sniff the gun and positively identifies it as carrying your sent.\n\nMan! That sucked! Count Whisperbat reclines in his chair smugly.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<else>> blasting you right in the core. "Arrgh! My core!" you moan. It is the last thing you ever say.\n\nI think they find you guilty posthumously or something.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<endif>><<endif>>

<<set $alibi = true>>"The timestamp?" says Whisperbat. "It's - it's from the future!"\n\nThe courtroom gasps. "So this -" the Judge begins "- this is a photo of you committing the very crime you've been accused of - in the future?"\n\nThe time traveller shrugs.\n\n"So that means you can't have committed the crime in the past. But you've still committed the crime? Or you're going to." The Judge scratches their forehead.\n\n"I'm counting this both as evidence against you and an alibi," says the Judge. Count Whisperbat shrugs.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Oh ho ho ho," laughs Whisperbat in an obviously forced way. "Witness, thou wouldst say thou could identify the accused's scent anywhere, wouldst thou not?"\n\n"Oh yeah," she says, inhaling deeply. "Mmm," she smiles.\n\n"So thou wouldst be able to detect whether that smell clung to this lasgun, used to incapacitate one of the security guards at the crime scene??" Whisperbat cradles the lasgun in an air-tight hoversphere, so that his hands don't actually touch, and interfere with, the evidence.\n\n"Oh, definitely," says the catburglar.\n\nQuick! Before she can sniff it!\n\n[[Knock the hoversphere out of his hands!|PR6A-4]]\n[[Produce a more overpowering scent!|PR6A-5]]\n[[Psychically compell the lasgun to fire!|PR6A-6]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "What scents can you produce, exactly? Should I cover my face?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "IT'S LIKE A BALL. JUST THROW IT AT A WALL OR SOMETHING."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

The Judge bangs their laser gavel. "Not all beings have as developed a sense of sight as you. Would you have me discount the testimony of all those who perceive the galaxy through their noses?"\n\n"For shame," adds the Judge. "The witness's testimony is upheld."\n\nCount Whisperbat snickers at you. Oops.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"A lot of them, yes, actually," she says. "You got a problem with that?"\n\n[[Accept the witness's fetish.|PR6A-7]]\n[[There's got to be more to it than that.|PR6A-8]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "It's totally cool of her to be so unabashed about her own preferences! It sounds like you've caught the scent of something too, though. Like a conspiracy or something, I mean."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "HER KINKS ARE HER OWN BUSINESS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"You want to get into this? Give me one reason time travel can't work."\n\n[["It defies the laws of physics!"|PR3C-1]]\n[["The technology is too expensive!"|PR3C-2]]\n[["Because time is an arrow!"|PR3C-3]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $character = true>>"You've always been a real friend, you've always respected us. Some people say they're there for you but when you show the first sign of being different, where are they? I remember days when we couldn't leave the house for fear that people would see our bodies and read us as a group of strangers instead of a single consciousness. Even among other hive minds, we were scared we were going to be judged because our bodies are all so different from each other. But you were willing to go clothes shopping for us, to get us matching jumpsuits."\n\n"It was nothing," you say.\n\n"It was a lot, at that time, just to feel like someone was on our side. We just want you to know how much we appreciate it."\n\n"You deserve to feel like you're not alone."\n\n"Strange how often it can feel that way, despite being composed of many people. Well, I hope we've been able to help with your trial. Good luck!"\n\n"Thanks, Hive."\n\n"Everyone says bye!" They hang up.<<else>><<set $character = false>>"You've always been there for us. When the doctor cut off our prescription to the consciousness-expanding drugs we needed, you volunteered to smuggle them from Psi City, where they're legal! You really came through for us then."\n\n"Don't mention it," you say. "Especially in court."\n\n"Oh yeah! Oops. Guess we didn't really help your case. But you should know how much we appreciated it. You're a real friend. Good luck with the trial. Everyone says bye!"\n\nThey hang up.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<if $favors >= 3>><<set $favors = $favors - 3>><<set $evidence = false>>"Heh heh heh," says the Crime Boss. "Well, I've never seen you before in my life! Bye!"\n\nThere's a poof of sulpherous ash that puts out the candles, and when the smoke has cleared the Crime Boss is gone.\n\n"Your Majesty!" cries Count Whisperbat. "We just witnessed the accused bribing a witness!"\n\n"That's not what the accused is on trial for. Irrelevant," says the Judge.\n\n"Grrr!" Whisperbat's fuming. Ha.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<else>>"Why so expensive?" you whine.\n\n"Well, you have to at least beat what the other chump paid."\n\n[["Do you mean Count Whisperbat??"|PR4B-8]]\n[["I'm not made of money!"|PR4B-7]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Did he just admit he's been bribed?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHAT DOES HE THINK YOU ARE, A CRIMINAL MASTERMIND? YOU'RE JUST A COMMON THUG."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>>"This expiration date - it's today!"\n\nThe catburglar gasps - and ducks just in time to dodge the ornamental knife that flies into the back of her chair.\n\n"Star dongs!" she curses. "I'm out of here!" She throws a smoke bomb, and when it clears, there's no sign of either her or the assassin.\n\n"My witness!" Whisperbat whines.\n\nYou dodged a bullet, it seems. And Whisperbat's witness? Dodged a knife.<<else>>"Oh. There's still another week before it expires," you say.\n\n"On a Thieves' Guild ID card, the expiration date is the date they plan to have you assassinated. Hey, let me see that again!"\n\n"Her ID checks out," taunts Whisperbat, "and so does her testimony. Thou hast barked up the wrong tree, and how thou art trapped in it!" What kind of a metaphor is this, you think.\n\nA bad one.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Can you prove-" "BAM!" he yells as a piece of paper materializes in front of you. "Email from the future."\n\nYou read the piece of paper. It says "HI CHUMP." It's post-marked several minutes in the future.\n\n"H...I...Space...C..." You can see him struggling with some sort of tiny keypad.\n\n[["If you're really a time traveler, bring back something from the past!"|PR3B-1]]\n[["Can I borrow your time texting tool?" - 1 favor.|PR3B-2]]\n[["You're making this time travel stuff up!"|PR3C]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "There's got to be a way you can catch him in a trap, but I'm not sure what it is. This time travel stuff hurts my head."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I THINK TIME TRAVEL IS A LOAD OF BUNK."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $evidence = false>>"Oh, what," he says, looking at the apple core in his hand. "Frig! You're right!"\n\n"So you admit that by tampering with that Dewclaw dude in the past or whatever you've changed the future, including - as far as we can tell - the events about which you've come to testify."\n\n"Ugh, yeah, I guess so. This sucks, I'm out of here." There's a poof, and the time traveller's gone!\n\n"I didn't exactly follow that," says the Judge, "but he admitted his testimony was false, so, uh, there you have it."\n\nCount Whisperbat is fuming.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"I'm testifying about events that I witnessed in THIS universe. So my testimony is relevant, regardless of the fact that I arrived to witness those events from a parallel universe."\n\n<<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 1>><<set $evidence = false>><<set $alibi = true>>"Oh yeah, I remember that meeting," she says. "That was the night...the night -"\n\n"The night of the crime!" you interject. Everyone gasps.\n\n"Well," she says. "Damn. I guess it was."\n\nMurmurs in the crowd as Whisperbat pounds his head against the witness stand. "Could you please stop doing that?" the catburglar asks.\n\nWell played. Well played indeed.<<else>>"That's what they all say!" says the catburglar. "Well, except for me. My attendance is impeccable. And I definitely remember seeing you a few times. You were always palling around with that one guy, what was his name?"\n\n"Reginos," you answer dejectedly, "the Master of Disguise."\n\n"Yeah, that was the guy. Making awful jokes all the time, like jokes your dad would make. But you kept encouraging him! You must have had a major crushola."\n\nYou blush.\n\n"Anyway," says Count Whisperbat, "the accused's criminal allegiances have been firmly established." He nods to himself, satisfied.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

You pull out a pocket version of the Space Bible, flip to a random verse, and read:<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>> "And Orbulon said, 'Nay, all psychics are deceivers of men and have no place in my house; turn them out, and let them find their way back without aid of spooky mind-powers. For My light is the only light, and by that alone can a being navigate the darkness of the Universe.'"\n\nWell, damn. The psychic //harrumphs// and storms off the witness stand while a flustered Whisperbat tries to talk her into returning. He turns and gives you //such a look.//\n\nUp yours, Whisperbat.<<else>> "<<print either("And on the homeworld of the most high, the giant amoeba will lay with the znydgi, and neither will try to surround and absorb the other.","Thou shalt not lay with a teddy bear covered in nano-fleas as thou wouldst lay with a teddy bear that has fleas not, lest thou get a gross rash.","And on the last day, the core shall rupture and there be no one to fix it, the stars shall fall and there be no one to catch them, Saturn and its ring shall not know one another and all be loosed and undone.","And so it was that the Creator of the universe created the three thousand genders and scattered them across the stars, that they might come to know themselves and, through themselves, Her.")>>" It's a powerful quote but it doesn't really help the situation.\n\nThe psychic just points at her parchment - the clear condemnation of the divine.\n\nCount Whisperbat snickers.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

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<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>>You dive to tackle your clone from behind, and it stretches out its legs so that you slide right under it.\n\n"Hey!" you say. "I can't do that!"\n\nYour doppleganger looks down. "Oops."\n\nThen it reverts to an amorphous, jelly-like form. "I guess I forgot myself for a second there. Or, uh, forgot //your//self. I'm actually a shapeshifter."\n\n"I have never seen this shapeshifter before in my life," says Count Whisperbat.\n\n"Whatever," says the Judge. "I'm throwing out the witness's testimony."\n\nCount Whisperbat glares at you. Ha.<<else>>You dive to tackle your clone but it seems to be at the part of its performance where it disables the security guard sneaking up on it from behind, and you're grabbed and hurled to the ground.\n\nThe courtroom oohs and aahs.\n\nYou lie groaning on the floor until your doppleganger completes its performance and gives you your hand to help you up, smiling at you. You half-heartedly return the smile.\n\n"And there we have it," says Whisperbat, "a demonstration of not only how the accused committed the crime, but what the accused looked like while committing it!"\n\nBoo.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

You shout "FIRE!" to try and distract your clone, but your duplicate is in the middle of miming a raygun fight and it only adds to the realism.\n\n"Ah," sneers Whisperbat, "is this where thou spilled the blood that produced thy clone? Your enthusiasm for this little fight is understandable."\n\nYou really hate that guy.\n\n"And there we have it," he continues, when the performance has ended. "A demonstration of not only how the accused committed the crime, but what the accused looked like while committing it!" He catches your gaze for just a moment to beam you a triumphant sneer.\n\nUgh.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

And so you do, spacer, so you do.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>>

You rush over to the witness stand to unmask the psychic! As you pull back the hood of her cloak a brilliant bright light like nothing you've ever seen burns itself into your eyes and you fall back, stunned by a beauty you have no words to describe.\n\n"Well, I never," says the witness, adjusting her cloak.\n\n"Hella rude," says the Judge. "You're lucky I don't have you held in contempt for assaulting a witness! This testimony is over, the evidence stands!"\n\nDazed, you look over to see Count Whisperbat holding in gleeful laughter as he helps the psychic down from the witness stand.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

//BLAMMO!!//\n\nYou're dead! And what's worse, you're guilty!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $alibi = true>><<set $character = false>>"What were you doing the night of the crime? Oh man! That was the night we snuck into the movies, remember? That was so much fun! There was a different one of us in like seven different theaters. We saw so many movies that night. Is it okay to talk about this in court?"\n\n"Once a criminal, always a criminal," says Whisperbat.\n\n"Ignore that guy. The important thing is it's an alibi."\n\n"Yeah, for sure. Do you remember that part in Shooting the Moon where the guy's like 'this isn't a moon, it's a space station!' And the other guy's like 'this isn't a space station, it's a dwarf planet!' And then the third guy's like, 'this isn't a dwarf planet-"\n\n"I didn't see that movie! I was in Welcome to the Void with one of you, remember?"\n\n"Oh yeah! Wow, that movie was boring. What even happened at the end, was he reborn as his sister's kid or what?"\n\n"Man. I don't even know. You made the right move being in all those other theaters too. Anyway, I should get back to court. Thanks for the alibi!"\n\n"Okay! Sneaking into the movies was hella fun, we should do it again sometime. I mean, uh, legally! With paying for tickets! Even though tickets are made expensive when you're seven-plus people! Alright, everyone says bye!"\n\nThey hang up.<<else>>"You know, the stereotype about hive minds is that we're omniscient, we have eyes everywhere, that sort of thing. It can be really pressuring sometimes. The truth is we don't get out much. Maybe that'll change in the future, but right now we're just sort of focused on getting to know one another, you know?"\n\n"Yeah, that makes sense," you say.\n\n"Sorry. We wish we could help, but we've been really in our own heads lately."\n\n"It's cool, I understand."\n\n"Everyone says bye!" They hang up.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<set $previous_witness = "C">><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>>You call up your old buddy, Jax "Fireball" Jaxxon. "Hey bud!" he says as he materializes. He's adjusting his helmet, which has numerous small fans embedded in it. "What's up? Make it quick, though, about to jump a binary star!"\n\nYou can see his ultrafast starscooter in the background, its Thermo-//Stat!// cooling system getting the vehicle nice and frosty for its trip around the sun.\n\n[["A binary star, really??"|DC-1]]\n[[I need an alibi.|DC-2]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DC-3]]<<else>>You call up your old pal Fireball, and are disappointed when it goes to a recording. It's one of those "personalized" recordings where they synthesize your name from phonemes in the recorder's speech.\n\n"Heeey, it's Jax Jaxxon! Sorry I missed you, //Star Cour-t Hollow-mat Five// old buddy! You know your old pal Fireball, though! I'm probably out jumping a star right now. If I die, these are the last words you'll ever hear from me! Well, later //Star Cour-t Hollow-mat Five//! Stay frosty!"\n\nBoo.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

You start typing. "You are a d-bag."\n\n"You're not calling me a d-bag, are you? Arrrgh, it was you! I should have known!"\n\n<<display 'PR3-TEXTING'>>

Argh, that isn't it at all! What are you thinking? You totally bumble the performance, getting all of the details wrong, and in the end not a single person in the courtroom thinks you're capable of committing this crime at all.\n\nIt's unanimous - you're definitely //not guilty.//\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica shrugs. "I guess that worked."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "BOO. I MEAN, CONGRATULATIONS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $sentence = either(1000,0) + either(900,600,500,100) + either(90,80,20,10) + either(9,5,2,1)>><<set $prison = either("the Tickle Mines","the Rocky Candy Mines of Shazamm IV","the Ice Pyramid","a full-sensory Holodungeon","the Tombs of the Dreadlords","an abandoned space station adrift in deep space","cryosleep","the Mind Cube","a large plastic ball","a solid, translucent crystal","house arrest, being observed by countless invisible eyes","a mirror universe","a prison beam","the Hubworld Galactic Zoo","the mirror labyrinth of the Mind Tyrant","a microscale replica of your actual home after being shrunk down","a time warp","gaseous form, incorporeal")>>"You are hereby sentenced," says the Judge, "to <<$sentence>> years in <<$prison>>."\n\n[[Reduce sentence - 1 favor.|GUILTY-REDUCE]]\n[[Accept punishment.|GUILTY-END]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>

You text the time traveller's mom: "YOU COULD DO BETTER." But when in the past to send it?<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 3>> This guy can't be older than his twenties, right? Right? You send the message.\n\nWhen you look up from texting, the time traveller has changed. He looks - way less d-baggy. And younger. Did you screw up?\n\n"Well, can't stick around. I've got to pick up my d-bag older brother. He's not allowed to use the time gear. Here's a complete recording of the accused performing the crime." He tosses a crystal to Count Whisperbat. "The technology to play it won't be invented for fifty years, so you'll just have to take my word for it."\n\n"Gladly," says Whisperbat with a grin. The time traveller's gone in a poof. Dang.<<else>><<set $evidence = false>> This guy has got to be in his thirties. You send the message.\n\nWhen you look up from texting, the time traveller's gone. Also, the time travel text messaging machine has disappeared from your hands.\n\nEveryone in court looks around, confused.\n\n"Uh, I guess that was it for the Prosecution?" says the Judge. "Defense is up."\n\n"Hey!" protests Count Whisperbat.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $evidence = false>>You can't help notice that the version of you in the psychic vision is especially gorgeous, that the vision dwells on (even accentuates) some of your most attractive features.\n\nYou wink at the witness. She pretends not to notice. You shift in your seat a little, allowing several of your tentacles to splay suggestively under the Defense's desk. You can see a bead of sweat slide out from under the witness's hood. It's working!\n\nThe vision takes a dramatic change in tone: when you arrive at the crime scene, you find the witness already there, reclining on the floor with her cloak spread around her like velvet bedsheets. You watch your doppleganger embrace her.\n\n"Hey now," says the Judge. "This seems, um, a little less than relevant to the trial. I'm gonna, uh, dismiss this witness."\n\nCount Whisperbat glares at you as he helps the psychic down from the witness stand. You can tell she's blushing under her cloak. "CALL ME WHEN YOU GET OUT OF HERE," glow psychic letters in your mind.<<else>>You cough loudly. The vision continues. You start humming the latest Red Energy song while glaring at the witness. But at that moment alarms go off in the psychic playback! Man, this is an AUDIO-VISUAL psychic vision? You're gonna have to try harder.\n\nYou start waving your arms and jumping up and down, anything to steal the attention of the psychic witness away from her vision! But unfortunately, the you in the vision is also in the process of jumping a fence and waving your arms as you make your getaway, swimming away from the crime scene.\n\n"As you can see, your Majesty," purrs Count Whisperbat, "the accused is fully capable of the athletics we see on display in this psychic vision of the crime and the getaway."\n\nPoop. Whisperbat is beaming smugly.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

You know what? It's a little awkward, but it's not that bad. Different than how you were imagining it when you arbitrarily decided it would be cool to try, but still, you're glad you did it. Kind of cool to be able to show your appreciation for your own body like this.\n\n"I can respect your interest in self-exploration," says Whisperbat, "but the witness's testimony stands."\n\nWorth it.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Hi Mom," you text your mom. You make sure to send it to her after you were born instead of before, just to make sure you don't mess up anything.\n\n<<display 'PR3-TEXTING'>>

Trigger an alternate form of trial.

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<set $character = true>>"Oh man, easy! Old Fireball's met a lot of people in his travels across the galaxy, jumping over things while people watch. And a lot of those people? Well! All those people were ready to watch old Fireball crash and burn, but very few of them were willing to try and help him pick himself up again afterward! You were one of those people, buddy. A real soul in a galaxy full of holograms. And don't let nothing ever change you."\n\nAw, Jax. Aww!\n\n"Alright, I gotta blast this thing. If I die in the flames of a binary star remember that I said //on record in a court of law// that you're a good goddamn person! It's official! Fireball out!"\n\nWhat a guy.<<else>><<set $character = false>>"Oh man, you're one of the quickest, cleverest, most giving people I know! Like whenever I needed help finding a part for the scooter, you always somehow got it! I always wondered how you did that."\n\n"Uh, Fireball."\n\n"Even stuff I was sure was illegal! Nitros and black hole dampeners! I just had to name the thing, and you showed up with it!"\n\n"Fireball! Shh!"\n\n"And that time that guy was trying to put the muscle on me for that producer. No idea whatever happened to that guy."\n\n"Sorry there's static on the line you're cutting out good luck with the stunt byeeeeee!" You hang up.\n\nCount Whisperbat makes a farting sound with his mouth.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

anna anthropy

"Maybe now it is," says the time traveller. "But not - in the future!"\n\n"Which is where I'm from," he adds.\n\n<<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>>

"This is 3000 years ago!" you exclaim.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $evidence = false>>She bursts into tears. "I'm sorry! I'm 26 in cat years but only six in human years! I had to lie about my age to get into the Guild!"\n\n"This is like, a lot of overcompensating."\n\n"I don't have a good sense of proportion!" she sobs.\n\n"You lied to the Thieves' Guild, but now the cat's out of the bag! Or the cat's about to be IN a bag, if you catch my drift. When they kill you."\n\nAn ornamental dagger bearing the sigil of the Thieves' Guild is sitting on the witness stand. Dang, they work fast.\n\n"You should get out of here," you say.\n\nSniffling back tears, she produces a smoke bomb and is gone when the smoke clears.\n\n"My witness!" whines Count Whisperbat. You see him pocket the knife though, just because it looks cool.<<else>>"And what?" she says. "You don't know me. You don't know how old I am. I've been around."\n\nThere's a twinkle in her eye. Wasn't there some sort of ancient cat goddess? What was her name?\n\n"Bast," says the catburglar. "Bast if you forget about this whole line of questioning."\n\nYou bite your lip. Count Whisperbat does a little victory dance.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>You give her a fish.\n\n"Thanks!" she says, spitting out a perfect fish skeleton.<<else>>You can't afford to give her a fish! She seems disappointed.<<endif>>\n\n<<display 'PR6-BRIBE'>>

A piece of paper materializes in front of you: "OKAY GIVE ME THE THING BACK NOW."\n\nYou hand the text messager back to the time traveller and he begins typing the email you just received.\n\n"Satisfied?" he asks.\n\n[["I demand to know what any of this has to do with me."|PR3A]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I wonder if there was a more practical option there."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I WOULD HAVE TEXTED MY FUTURE SPOUSE, 'HEY GOOD LOOKING.'"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Ah haha what, NO." The time traveller looks at you like you're talking 100% pure gobbledygook. "Time is a dimension, and like height, width and depth it has a shape. That shape includes not only the the things that have happened as you've experienced them but all the possibilities that can happen, including the ones that involve time travellers showing up in your courthouse. When someone travels in time, they're moving from one of those points in a shape that includes all versions of history to another. Many-worlds theory, dude. Basic."\n\n<<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>>

<>\n<<set $debug = false>>\n<<set $crime = "to be determined">>\n<<set $favors = 3>>\n<<set $clicks = 2>>\n<<set $dieroll = 0>>\n<<set $lawyer = "none">>\n<<set $prosecution_level = 0>>\n<<set $evidence = false>>\n<<set $alibi = false>>\n<<set $character = false>>\n<<set $timeline_altered = false>>\n<<set $previous_witness = "none">>\n<<set $judge_bribed = false>>\n<<set $sentence = 0>>\n<<set $prison = "none">>\n<<set $sentence_reduction = 0>>\n<<set $job = "none">>\n<<set $house = "none">>\n<<set $pet = "none">>\n<<set $cats_guilty = 0>>\n<<set $cats_innocent = 0>>\n<<set $cat_minutes = 0>>\n<<endnobr>>The laser gavel pounds.\nThe Robailiff boots up.\nSomewhere, a gong sounds.\n><img src="logo.gif">\nSTAR COURT is now in session.\n\n[[Begin.|CRIME]]\n<<if $debug eq true>>[[Time travel.|DEBUG]]<<endif>>

Trial by knife toss. Justice is blind, right? So a blindfolded officiant of the Justice System will throw knives at you. Depending on where they hit you, you're either innocent or guilty.\n\n[[Submit to trial by knife toss.|AR3-1]]\n<<display ('AR-CHOICES')>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "As your legal counsel, I must advise you that having knives thrown at you is very unsafe!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHAT'S THE WORST THAT CAN HAPPEN."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $character = false>>"You are one of the most righteous criminals I've ever worked with. No one else I'd trust with my back on a run."\n\n"I don't know if this actually helps my case."\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $favors = $favors + 1>>"That reminds me! I never gave you your cut of payout from the last run. Here, I'm uploading the money to your bank account right now."\n\n"Shh!"\n\n"Oh, don't worry. I'll hack into the court records later and erase this entire conversation. Well, good luck with the trial." He logs off.\n\n"Heh heh," you laugh nervously. You've received wealth equivalent to one favor!<<else>>"They don't know what it's like to see you hot-wiring security cameras. Like an artist at work!"\n\n"This isn't really what I had in mind-"\n\n"A virtuoso of crime. They should hang you in a museum."\n\n"I'm trying to avoid any potential hangings if that's cool. Listen, Trouble, I'm gonna go."\n\n"Sure thing, kid! Glad I could help!" He logs off.\n\nGeez. Count Whisperbat makes a tsking noise.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

"What were you doing when?<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = true>> No, don't tell me, I've got this! Oh yeah, I remember! <<$crime>>! Yeah? Am I right?"\n\n"I don't know what you're talking about," you say.\n\n"Sure you do! You were planning that job for months! Remember? I even helped you figure out some of the security spec -" Trouble closes his mouth. "Uh, did you say I'm projecting in court right now?"\n\nHe hits a few keys and his image is replaced by a wall of green static. "Sorry bud I'm just making things up this is all a dream anyway! Just a very strange dream! Okay gotta go bye!"\n\nHe hangs up. "Heh," says Whisperbat.<<endif>><<if $dieroll >= 3 and $dieroll < 5>> How should I know? I guess I can just get into your personal calendar and look it up."\n\n"I don't, uh, think that will be necessary."\n\n"You have //got// to change your password, I'm not even kidding you. It's just 'world's best thief" with threes in place of the Es. How long have you even been using that password? I bet you use the same password for every single website."\n\n"Gotta go bye!" you shout mid-hanging-up. You're not sure that helped at all.<<endif>><<if $dieroll <= 2>><<set $alibi = true>> Oh, yeah. That was the day we flooded that bipedal supremacist's message boards with garbage. All digitizing banana peels and fish bones and whatnot."\n\n"Don't say his name," you tell Trouble. "He namesearches reality."\n\n"Dude deserved it. It's people like him that make me super nervous every time I get down on all fours. My Mama Bear told me always be proud of what you are, because Bear is beautiful."\n\n"It took me forever to get the smell of garbage out of my clothes. Well, I'm going to get back to the trial now. Thanks Trouble."\n\n"Give 'em hell, kid." He logs off.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

"That's unrealistic," you say as your clone mines rolling under a closing bulkhead. "That could never happen. Now you're just showing off." It's not working!\n\n//"WEE-OO WEE-OO WEE-OO!"// you shout, making the sound of an annoying alarm, but your clone is at the point in its performance where the alarm goes off, so it only adds to the immersion. By the time the clone mimes pricking its finger - spilling the blood that supposedly created it - everyone is one hundred percent convinced you could have committed the crime.\n\nCount Whisperbat is chuckling gloatfully to himself.\n\nPoo.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>Using the touchscreen, you email some money to the Robailiff's brain.\n\n"Cha-ching!" it says. "You're alright, buddy. Except that you're an unrepentant criminal who thinks nothing of resorting to criminal hacking and bribery. Well, see you in a minute."\n\nIt ducks back outside, closing the wall behind it.\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]<<else>>You're all out of favors!\n\n<<display 'RC-6'>><<endif>>

<<set $previous_witness = "J">>You dial home and your robot butler, Beep Boop, picks up immediately. "GREETINGS, MASTER," it buzzes, "HOW MAY I SERVE YOU." Red and green lights blink attentively atop its robot head, actually just a colander with christmas lights underneath. For a robot that you basically put together out of kitchenware, Beep Boop is pretty loyal.\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DJ-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DJ-2]]

"It's cute, huh?"\n\nGosh, it really is. You blush a little.\n\n"The witness's identification is in order," says Whisperbat, "and so is her testimony." He grins. What a mook.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<set $job = either("megacorp spy","space spice trader","interstellar bounty hunter","holovid celebrity","game show host","planetary ambassador","galactic warlord","business maven","fringe scientist","famed interstellar explorer")>>You get a job as a <<$job>> and settle down <<$house>> with your pet <<$pet>>.\n\n[[Upgrade home - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-HOUSE]]\n[[Upgrade pet - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-PET]]\n[[Live happily ever after.|INNOCENT-END]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>><<else>><<display 'INNOCENT-BANKRUPT'>><<endif>>

"A Zoltan shapebeast named Rootie, Bingo, Entwhistle, Felicity, and Cellophane, depending on what form it was taking."\n\nAnother correct answer.\n\n[["What's my hometown?"|PR5A-5]]\n[["Mother's maiden name?"|PR5A-7]]\n[["What did I want to be when I grew up?"|PR5A-8]]\n[[Give up.|PR5A-9]]

<<if $evidence eq true and $alibi eq false>>"In light of the OVERWHELMING evidence against the accused, the jury finds the accused ''GUILTY.''"\n\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>"No!" moans Eccentrica Charming, her head in her hands. "No, no, no, no, no! My perfect record!"\n\n<<endif>><<if $lawyer eq "bad">>"I KNEW IT," buzzes the Public Defendroid.\n\n<<endif>>"Yes!" you hear Count Whisperbat say. "Level <<print $prosecution_level + 1>> here I come!"\n\n"Frick," you say.\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]<<endif>><<if $evidence eq false and $alibi eq true>>"In light of the accused's alibi, and the Prosecution's inability to bring forward any substantial evidence, the jury finds the accused ''INNOCENT!''"<<if $judge_bribed>> The Judge gives you a wink.<<endif>>\n\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>"Heck yes!" shouts Eccentrica Charming. "They said I was losing my edge, but this'll show em! THIS WILL SHOW THEM ALL!"\n\n<<endif>><<if $lawyer eq "bad">>"THAT'S WEIRD, I HAD YOU PEGGED FOR A CRIMINAL FROM THE MOMENT I SAW YOU," buzzes the Public Defendroid.\n\n<<endif>>"Curses!" shouts Count Whisperbat before vanishing in a mildew-colored cloud that makes everyone cough.\n\n"Killer," you say.\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]<<endif>><<if $evidence eq false and $alibi eq false>>"Because of both sides' inability to present convincing evidence, the jury was unable to reach a consensus. Therefore, we're going to travel back in time and conduct the trial again." <<if $judge_bribed>> The Judge gives you a wink.<<endif>>\n\n<<display 'R-TIMEWARP'>><<endif>><<if $evidence eq true and $alibi eq true>>"In light of compelling evidence from both sides, the jury was unable to reach a consensus. Therefore, we're going to travel back in time and conduct the trial again."\n\n<<display 'R-TIMEWARP'>><<endif>>

You pull out your holorolodex.\n\nWho are you going to call?\n\n<<if $previous_witness neq "A">>[[Venus Velva, holovision personality - 1 favor.|DA]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "B">>[[Valencia St. Mission, vampire duchess - 1 favor.|DB]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "C">>[["Fireball" Jaxxon, professional daredevil.|DC]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "D">>[[Rory Lionel, space mercenary.|DD]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "E">>[[Spinach Arugala, sentient plant.|DE]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "F">>[[Triskelion Motif, skeleton bartender.|DF]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "G">>[[The Hive, collective mind.|DG]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "H">>[[Trouble_Bruin, notorious hacker.|DH]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "I">>[[Dagger Stilleto, pirate queen.|DI]]\n<<endif>><<if $previous_witness neq "J">>[[Beep Boop, robot butler.|DJ]]\n<<endif>>\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<set $sentence_reduction = either(20,10,0) + either(6,5,4,2)>><<set $sentence = $sentence - $sentence_reduction>>You manage to have your sentence reduced by <<$sentence_reduction>> years. Now you only have to serve <<$sentence>> years in <<$prison>>.\n\n[[Reduce sentence - 1 favor.|GUILTY-REDUCE]]\n[[That's better.|GUILTY-END]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>><<else>>You don't have any more favors! You'll have to serve all <<$sentence>> years!\n\n<<display 'GUILTY-END'>><<endif>>

<<set $previous_witness = "H">><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>>You call Trouble_Bruin, notorious hacker, and almost instantaneously the face of a grizzly bear with a rainbow mohawk and rad mirror shades appears. "Hey buddy! Long time no see. How's tricks?"\n\n"Tricks are for kids, Trouble. I'm on trial!"\n\n"No prob. You need me to hack into the legal records or what?"\n\n"No, I mean on trial right now. You're being projected into the witness stand."\n\n"Oh. Uh. So what is it you need me to say?"\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DH-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DH-2]]<<else>>You call Trouble_Bruin, notorious hacker, but all you get is a horrible modem screech! Everyone in the courtroom covers their ears.\n\n"Whoops," you say.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

<<set $favors = $favors + 1>>Favor generated.\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

<<set $lawyer = "bad">>The Public Defendroid is summoned as your lawyer.\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

"STOP WASTING MY TIME." She breaks the psychic connection, and you snap back to the courtroom.\n\n"WITNESS!" commands Whisperbat. "Begin your //psychic projection!//"\n\n<<display 'PR2-VISION'>>

<<if $evidence eq true>><<set $evidence = false>>Evidence destroyed.<<else>><<set $evidence = true>>Evidence falsified.<<endif>>\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>You present Pride with a hand mirror, and while it's admiring itself, you sucker-punch it!\n\nYou've won your second of four fights!\n\n<<display 'AR1-5'>><<else>>You're all out of favors! You'll have to fight Pride normally!\n\n<<display 'AR1-4'>><<endif>>

"The very same," says the Crime Boss. "I come from the demonic plane, where by ingenuity and guile I have ascended over all other demons to the rank of supreme demon prince of crime. I am aware of every single crime that is committed."\n\n[["You see EVERY crime?"|PR4B-1]]\n[["Have you committed any crimes yourself?"|PR4B-2]]\n[["Why should I believe you?"|PR4A]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Maybe there's a way you can get him to incriminate himself. Or somebody else."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "EVERY SINGLE CRIME? THAT'S A LOT OF CRIME."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

''"AHAHAHA!"'' howls the demon prince as you break the pentagram. ''"I AM RELEASED! THIS WORLD SHALL BURN IN AN AGE OF CRIME AND CHAOS!"'' As you watch in horror, the Crime Boss grows larger and larger, spitting flames from his eyes to burn all around you. The court is a pandemonium of screaming and fire.\n\n"Fool! Why did you do that?" howls Whisperbat before he's totally fragged by a fireball.\n\n''"MWAHAHAHAHA!"'' echos the demon's laughter as Star Court crumbles around you.\n\nYou are neither guilty nor innocent, as law has been dethroned in the universe. However, you have died in a fire.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>>

"Uh, what level Vampire Lord doest thou think I am?" asks Whisperbat. "Oh, that's right, I'm a Level <<$prosecution_level>> Vampire Lord. Thou thinkest I can't bind a demon prince and magically compell him to speak the truth?"\n\n"As long as I am bound by this pentagram," says the Crime Boss with a smile, "I am required to speak the truth, and remain a credible witness."\n\nWhisperbat looks a little nervous, suddenly alert.\n\n[[Demand physical evidence.|PR4A-1]]\n[[Question Whisperbat's magical powers.|PR4A-2]]\n[[Rub out the pentagram!|PR4A-3]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Maybe there's a way you can catch Whisperbat in a lie, but it might be safer to try and tease out what evidence they have against you."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHISPERBAT COULDN'T MAGIC HIS WAY OUT OF A PAPER BAG."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"DON'T WORRY, I HEAR SPACE PRISON'S REALLY NICE. THEY HAVE ZERO-G TENNIS COURTS AND HOLO-SPAS," the psychic says. "NO, WAIT, I'M JUST THINKING OF //FEDERAL// SPACE PRISON. OH WELL."\n\nShe breaks the psychic connection, and you're back in the courtroom.\n\n"WITNESS!" booms Whisperbat, "Begin your //psychic projection!//"\n\n<<display 'PR2-VISION'>>

"Oh ho, you want to fight me!" cackles the Crime Boss. "I like your style! Unfortunately, the pentagram which binds me compells me to remain pacifistic. If you would dare challenge me to combat, you must break the pentagram!"\n\n"Hey now," says Whisperbat. "Let's not do anything hasty!"\n\n[[Break the pentagram!|PR4C]]\n[[Withdraw your challenge.|PR4D-1]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This has to be a trick! You can't trust a lord of crime!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "SHOW THIS MOOK WHO'S BOSS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $timeline_altered = true>>"If you're really-" "Already did it, chump. I knew you were gonna ask, so I did it on the way here." He takes an apple out of his pocket. "This is the apple that bonked Dewclaw on the head."\n\n"I've never heard about any Dewclaw getting bonked on the head by an apple."\n\n"Exactly," says the time traveller, his mouth full of apple. "Becush of me."\n\n[["I still don't think time travel is real."|PR3C]]\n[["I demand to know what any of this has to do with me."|PR3A]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This is all irrelevant. I think. What evidence does he have on you?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I HATE THIS GUY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<set $prosecution_level = 8 + $dieroll>>//"Prosecutor!"// shouts the Judge. //"Appear!"//\n\nThe Prosecutor appears in a puff of black smoke and bows extravagently. "My greetings to all parties," he says. "I am Count Daniel Whisperbat, called the Bringer of <<print either("Midnight","Darkness","Sorrows","Fears","Nightfall","Nightmares","Omens")>>. I come from a long line of lawyers and vampires. I am a Level <<$prosecution_level>> Vampire Lord, and criminal, I shall see thou shalt meet justice on this day!"\n\n[[Reduce Count Whisperbat's level - 1 favor.|PROSECUTOR-REDUCE]]\n[[Proceed to trial.|PROSECUTION]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>"He's making that number up," Eccentrica mutters.<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "A LEVEL <<$prosecution_level>> VAMPIRE LORD. MY HERO."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You get down on your knees and pray as hard as you can.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 6>><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 6>><<set $alibi = false>><<set $character = false>>A choking darkness fills the courtroom, accompanied by the moaning of a thousand tormented voices. SlayVor, goddess of slow torture, appears in the witness stand!\n\n''"Guilty,"'' she hisses. And then she vanishes back into the darkness.\n\nOuch. You don't think this helped your case.<<else>>There's a peal of thunder, a flash of lightning, and suddenly <<print either("Odin","Baubo","Baphomet","Sun Ra","The Venus of Willendorf","Orlanth","Ernalda","Hera","Athena","Saturn (the god)","Ganesh")>> appears in the witness stand!\n\nThe ancient one speaks: <<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $alibi = true>>''"The accused was definitely not at the scene of the crime! I know, because I know everything. Peace out."''<<else>><<set $character = true>>''"The accused is pretty okay, you know? I'm a good judge of character, because I know everything. Peace out."''<<endif>>\n\nThere's another thunderclap, and the god is gone.\n\nWow.<<endif>><<else>>Nothing happens.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

You sit down on the floor, close your eyes, and imagine yourself very, very far away. You're on a beach, one of those slime beaches, sitting with your appendages at the very edge of the slime, so that as the waves come in the cool green slime washes over them, then retreats again with a soothing sucking sound, again and again. You let the gentle heat of an exploding star warm your body, having of course applied your personal radiation forcefield. As you turn your head, a very attractive being of shining light is holding a tall glass of hangus blood up for you. Hangus blood is delicious. You put your lips to the straw and-\n\n"Time's up," says the Robailiff, shaking you out of your beautiful moment. Damn.\n\nIt escorts you back the courtroom.\n\n[[Court resumes.|R-END]]

The vents! Of course. Uh, are there even vents in this room? It's hard to tell.\n\nYes! You have to run your hands over the smooth, seamless-looking ceiling for a while, but finally you find a panel and slide it out of place. Fortunately, since the room is so small, the ceiling's really low. You climb silently into the vents. But where will you end up? It's pretty much anyone's guess.\n\nYou creep along the dark vents for a while. Then you see light below you! As you lean down to get a better look, you lose your grip and tumble down the shaft!\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 1>>...landing in the Judge's private bathroom! They're in the middle of using an alien toilet, the kind that's like a tube that you extend your amorphous blob parts into and then excrete through your skin. Needless to say, the Judge is very embarrassed over you seeing their blob parts like this.\n\n"Guards! All guards to the Judge's chamber! Then give me like a minute and then report to the bathroom!"\n\nYou are held in contempt, especially by the Judge. Things do not go well for you after this.\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]<<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 2>>...landing in Count Whisperbat's private prosecution chambers! The Count is sitting crosslegged in a pentagram, a ring of candles flickering around him, communing with someone. "I'm sorry, Demon Mother, but I can't make blood ritual with you and Dad this weekend, Fredward Cullen is doing a book signing. Yes, I know how important this is to you and-"\n\nHe stops and looks up at you. "What are you doing here? No, Mom, I- hold on."\n\nHe inscribes a circle in the air with his hand and the Robailiff emerges from a magical portal. Whisperbat blows a raspberry at you as you're escorted back to your cell. "No, Mother, I wasn't making a noise at you-"\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]<<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 3>>...landing in the courtroom! The Judge files in, along with the other members of the court.\n\n"Oh good, you're already here. We'll resume court right away then!"\n\nNot exactly how you planned it.\n\n[[Court resumes.|R-END]]<<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 4>>...into the trash incinerator. How does Star Court generate this much trash, you think as you burn. But unfortunately you'll never get the opportunity to propose waste-reducing measures because you're totally smoked!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 5>>...into the hangar! You find a totally sweet-looking megabike tricked out with turbos, oxygen field, detachable ram scoop, laser lance, ultraviolet headlights, and a built-in radio! Hot-wiring the bike with an ultra-thin metal rod you smuggled into court disguised as a crease in your face, you gun the engines and turn on the radio. "Breakin' the law" comes on.\n\nOh hell yeah, this is your jam. As you turn up the volume your hand bumps against the glove compartment and it pops open, revealing the pointiest mirror shades you've ever seen. You slide them onto your nose as you blast out of the Star Court hangar and into space. Nuts to this place!\n\nYou let Star Court evaporate like a bad memory. You're on the other side of the sector by the time they notice you're missing.\n\nThat evening the Judge, grumbling as they make their way to the hangar, is extremely dismayed to find their megabike missing.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 6>>...into the same cell you started in! The vent cover slides into place behind you, basically invisible. Well, that didn't help.\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]<<endif>>

What your captors don't know is that you've managed to smuggle a microscopic lockpick into the courtroom disguised as an eyelash! You blink a couple times and it comes loose. With the grace and stealth of a cat princess, you pick the almost-invisible lock on the almost-invisible door. Silent as the grave of someone boring, you inch the door open.\n\n"Uh, what are you doing?" asks the Robailiff, looking at you through the open door. "I thought I was pretty clear on the 'right outside the door' thing." Curses! Foiled again!\n\nThe Robailiff shuts the door.\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<set $pet = either("Zoltan shapebeast","crystal elephant","cyberferret","deep space whale","nine-dimensional shiftcat","psychic canary","intelligent ambulatory plant","mechascarab")>>You get a job as a <<$job>> and settle down <<$house>> with your pet <<$pet>>.\n\n[[Upgrade job - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-JOB]]\n[[Upgrade home - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-HOUSE]]\n[[Live happily ever after.|INNOCENT-END]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>><<else>><<display 'INNOCENT-BANKRUPT'>><<endif>>

"Very well," says the Crime Boss.\n\n"Why are you always challenging witnesses to martial combat?" says the Judge. "I don't understand this impulse to violence."\n\n"It's the criminal temper," says Whisperbat with a smile. "My witness, the demonic lord of all crime, alleges that he is familair with thy transgressions. Dost thou protest this charge?"\n\n[["Yeah! He's lying!"|PR4A]]\n[["'Demonic lord of all crime?'"|PR4B]]

You present a record to the court. It's a record of Red Energy and the Hot Hot Hearts playing their smash hit, "Gunnilingus."\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 6>>"Ohmigosh," says the Judge, "This is my favorite record. I am totally prepared to toss out the Prosecution's evidence if we can listen to that record right now."\n\n//"WHAAAT?"// storms Whisperbat.\n\n[[Play the album.|PR1C-6]]\n[["No - play the album //backwards//."|PR1C-7]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Oh, whooaa, that song is really good! Red Energy's the best!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "GUNNILINGUS. IS THERE A SECRET MESSAGE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<else>>"What does this prove exactly?" asks Whisperbat, looking a little genuinely confused.\n\nYou scratch the back of your neck bashfully.\n\n"The witness's testimony is sustained," says the Judge.\n\nWhisperbat chuckles.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<endif>>

You reach into your pocket. "I have right here," you explain, "the keys to my megabike."\n\nYou pull them out to show the court. "Submitted as evidence."\n\n"So if you have the keys," says Whisperbat, raising a salacious eyebrow, "that means they were never stolen. You had them all along."\n\n"Oh."\n\nThe laser gavel slams.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Submitted as evidence."\n\nIt's a photo of you posing with your megabike in front of the Valles Marineris.\n\n"Cool!" says the creature on the witness stand.\n\n"What is this supposed to prove?" asks Whisperbat.\n\n[["Look at the timestamp."|PR1C-4]]\n[["Look at the watermark."|PR1C-5]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "That watermark's really ugly."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THAT WATERMARK IS COOL."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $lawyer = "good">><<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<endif>>Eccentrica Charming is summoned as your lawyer.\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

Ugh, this sounds really awful backwards. The Judge is making a really nasty face.\n\nCount Whisperbat is making a face too. A very different one.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<set $evidence = false>>Oh man. This song rocks.\n\nEverybody in the courtroom is super into it. Except Count Whisperbat.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

It's this really ugly partial silhouette of a gear with an eye inside it. "Ick," says the witness.\n\n"This is the watermark of the Gear Eye photography studio," you explain. "'Gear Eye for the Right Buy,' that's their slogan. This is a professional photo."\n\n"Which proves what?" asks an annoyed Whisperbat.\n\n"You know that old saying about photographs stealing the souls of their subjects?" you ask. "Well, this proves that a photographer stole //the soul of// my megabike. And mine too."\n\nThe entire courtroom groans.\n\n"The photographer is the real criminal," you conclude.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $alibi = true>>"This photo, it - was taken at the same time as the crime!" exclaims the witness.\n\n"Which fails to establish that the megabike was stolen," says Whisperbat.\n\n"But it DOES create a credible alibi," says the Judge.\n\n"That's exactly what I actually meant," you say.<<else>>"According to this timestamp, the photo was taken twenty-four hours before the crime," observes the witness.\n\n"Which left the accused plenty of time to travel to the crime scene," Whisperbat gloats.\n\nWell, frig.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $character = true>>"For a sentient piece of meat, you're alright," says Spinach. "One of those people who will stop and smell the flowers, but not before getting their enthusiastic consent. You're just, you're one of the //gourd// ones, you know? Haha! Gourd!"\n\n"Haha," you laugh politely.\n\n"See, you even laugh at my terrible puns! That's a rare kind of charity, in my experience!"\n\n"Thanks, Spinach."\n\n"No problem! Thinking about you behind bars just gets me all //chard// up! Heh heh! Later!"\n\n"Heh heh," you say.<<else>>"For a sentient piece of meat, you're alright," says Spinach. "I mean, you've never tried to eat me, I suppose. You could visit more often. I mean, I'm not one of those AMBULATORY sentient plants, the kinds with the stingers and whatnots. Man, the tables would be turned THEN, huh! See who eats who, y'know?"\n\nYou say nothing.\n\n"Have I helped? I have no idea. I'm gonna go soak up this sunlight, but //lettuce// speak again soon! Ha! Lettuce! Don't be a shrub!"\n\nIt hangs up. What a weird guy.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<set $lawyer = "bad">>A metal briefcase is placed beside you. When the button on top is pressed, it unfolds into a suit-and-tied robot. "GREETINGS, CRIMINAL," it buzzes. You have a bad feeling about this.\n\n<<display 'CRIME-PLEAD'>>

You use your cyberbrain to send a quick message to Trouble_Bruin, ace hacker and actual bear. "On it, pal," comes the reply, which deletes itself without a trace as soon as it's read.\n\nThe holo-display fritzes momentarily, then changes to a different photo - <<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll > 1>><<set $evidence = false>>a photo of Count Daniel Whisperbat posing with teen vampire heartthrob Fredward Cullen.\n\n"That Fredward is so dreamy," says the witness.\n\n"Get that photo back on the holograph!" shouts Whisperbat. "That's important evidence!" But the original photo is gone without a trace. Count Whisperbat fumes.<<else>>a photo of you pulling a mad wheelie on your megabike.\n\n"Coooooooool," says the witness.\n\n"And for my next piece of evidence," grins Whisperbat, seizing the moment, "a photo of the accused RIDING said megabike."\n\n"Whoops, wrong photo!" reads Trouble's message in your cyberbrain. "Sorry."\n\nCount Whisperbat is chuckling gleefully.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>"Sure, I can't imagine how this could possibly go wrong."\n\nHe tosses you his text messager. You can text anyone in the past.\n\n[[Text yourself.|PR3B-3]]\n[[Text the time traveller.|PR3B-4]]\n[[Text the time traveller's mom.|PR3B-5]]\n[[Text your mom.|PR3B-6]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "If you text yourself the score from the big game, maybe you can bet on it and make money! Have bet on it, I mean. Have made money."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I BET YOUR MOM MISSES YOU. USED TO HAVE MISSED YOU?"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<else>>You can't afford to bribe him! "This is a genuine Dewclaw, alright? I'm not gonna hand it over to just anyone."\n\n[["I demand to know what any of this has to do with me."|PR3A]]\n[["I'm still not convinced time travel is real."|PR3C]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I don't feel like now is the time for a scientific debate."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "JUST BECAUSE HE CAN TEXT YOU FROM THE FUTURE DOESN'T MEAN TIME TRAVEL IS REAL. ALL SMOKE AND MIRRORS IF YOU ASK ME."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<endif>>

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<set $house = either("in a zero-gravity mansion","in a deep space lighthouse","in your own private biosphere","in a crystal palace","on your very own personal planetoid","on a pizza satellite","aboard a brightly-colored starship")>>You get a job as a <<$job>> and settle down <<$house>> with your pet <<$pet>>.\n\n[[Upgrade job - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-JOB]]\n[[Upgrade pet - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-PET]]\n[[Live happily ever after.|INNOCENT-END]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>><<else>><<display 'INNOCENT-BANKRUPT'>><<endif>>

What would improve and expedite the judicial process for you?\n\n[[Eliminate cross-examination of witnesses.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]\n[[Higher level vampire prosecutor.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]\n[[Empower Judge to make rulings without jury delibration.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]\n[[Automate incarceration by removing trial process entirely.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>>A collection of beings is gathered around a boomerang-shaped table.<<if $evidence eq true and $alibi neq true>> Someone is gesticulating wildly, angrily. It doesn't leave you feeling optimistic.<<else>><<if $evidence neq true and $alibi eq true>> Someone is reenacting your courtroom antics while the other jury-members watch, heads on folded hands and tentacles, swooning. You feel optimistic about this.<<else>> There are a lot of shrugs, head-shakes, and sighs. The jury seems pretty noncommittal.<<endif>><<endif>><<else>>All you can see is a mass of writhing tentacles. Huh.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

Professional psychic.

<<set $previous_witness = "A">><<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>"Darling!" says Venus as she appears on the holomat, looking fabulous as usual in a fluffy pink robe. "I'm busy as sin down here but I can always make time for an old friend like you." She winks her single eye - you think. "What can I do for you, honey?"\n\nVenus begins painting her tentacles.\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DA-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DA-2]]<<else>>You're out of favors! You call up Venus but all that appears on the holomat is one of her headshots with the recording "Venus Velva is on set right now and cannot be reached for comment, but one of her personal assistants will call you back whenever is convenient."\n\nThat didn't help.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

Okay! The Robailiff's cleared out a big space in the courtroom for you to reenact your crime and everyone's eyes are on you! It's time for the performance of your lifetime - because your life depends on this performance!\n\nNow, uh, what was your crime again?\n\n[[<<print either( "Distributing pamphlets on Mars.","Snuggling known criminals across the border.","Robbing the Bank of ZZT","Stealing the ice crystals of Pluto.")>>|AR4-INNOCENT]]\n[[<<$crime>>.|AR4-GUILTY]]\n[[<<print either( "Smuggling illegal Shrinky Dinks into the oven.","Conspiracy to overthrow the Solar Senate.","Inciting a riot in a public bathroom.","Loitering.")>>|AR4-INNOCENT]]

Your identical (?) clone.

Professional cat burglar and cat.

Demon prince of all crime.

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>>"I don't believe in you!" you yell while punching the spirit in the face. "You're not real!" You totally kick its ass.\n\nEveryone in court cheers. "Wow, good job!" says the Judge. "I, uh, I guess you're innocent. Way to go."\n\nYou have won the ultimate victory. The victory of the self. You have conquered your own inner demon. Also you're not going to jail, so that's cool.\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>"Radical," whispers Eccentrica. Then she says, "I'm glad my invaluable advice was able to serve you in court! You made the right decision in hiring me. Congratulations."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THAT WAS SO COOL. I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE ALIVE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<else>>The crime ghost frags you with death beams from its thousand cruel eyes. "YOU WERE A FOOL TO THINK YOU COULD DEFEAT ME, MORTAL," it hisses (loudly).\n\n"Owwwwwwwwwwww," you say.\n\n"CRIME IS AS OLD AS CIVILIZATION AND ALMOST AS DESTRUCTIVE. YOUR DEATH FREES ME TO FIND A NEW HOST. HA HA HA HA HA," it cackles as it disappears into a vent and into (presumably) the nightmares of all present.\n\nYou got smoked by a crime ghost.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<endif>>

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<set $character = true>>"You know you've never let me down," Rory says. "We've been through some tough times together. Which I will not go into the details of, lest I incriminate you further. Heh heh."\n\n"Heh heh," you laugh nervously.\n\n"Seriously though, you were always there for me. When I had to drop cargo in orbit around Nova Nuevo and I thought I was sunk for sure, it was you who helped me pick all the cargo back up again. There's no one I'd trust my back to more."\n\n"You're sweet, Rory," you say.\n\n"I'm a friggin' sentimentalist!" There's a series of explosions in the rear view of Rory's cockpit. "Okay, I gotta go before I start crying! Good luck!"\n\nRory hangs up.<<else>><<set $character = false>>""You know you've never let me down," Rory says. "Smuggling, Kessel Rum-running, toppling AutoGovernments, I couldn't ask or a better partner in crime."\n\n"Thanks, Rory," you hiss.\n\n"Is this going on the court record? If you ever need someone who can keep Homeworld Security talking while you feed your stockpile of SHRINKDEX-1 into the furnance, this here's your criminal!"\n\n"Good, Rory. Great. Goodbye." You hang up.\n\nCount Whisperbat snickers loudly.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>><<set $alibi = true>>"What were you doing when? Oh yeah, that was the night of the big poker game. We walked away with hella cash that night! Those suckers didn't know what hit them! I still can't believe where you hid the probability-altering device! I guess you couldn't take chances, with it having been strip poker."\n\nThere's an explosion and Rory's cockpit rocks a little. "Haha! Man! Good thing you didn't ask me to be a character witness. Anyway, I really have to get back to this. Good luck with the trial!"\n\nThey hang up. That was pretty fun, yeah.<<else>><<set $evidence = true>>"What were you doing when? Oh, that night. Probably that big job you were planning. What was it?"\n\n"Rory!" you interject.\n\n"<<$crime>>? Yeah, I think that was it. You spent weeks planning that one."\n\nEh heh heh. You look around the courtroom. Count Whisperbat is grinning smugly.\n\n"Hey Rory seeing as you basically incriminated me I'm gonna go, okay? Good luck with your octopus war or whatever."\n\n"Stay dangerous!" Rory says, then you hang up.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

What would you say contributed most to your feeling of fairness and impartiality?\n\n[[Judge's agency to make snap decisions based on personal biases.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]\n[[Ability to pay money for more experienced lawyers.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]\n[[Jury selected to be as ignorant as possible of experiences relevant to trial.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]\n[[Option to invoke an outdated rite of endurance in place of a hearing.|SURVEY-AGAIN]]

<<display AR3-TOSS>><<if $dieroll >= 5>>It's a wild toss! Tied to the board you can't see who it hits, but you hear the scream. The Robailiff shrugs and lifts the next knife.\n\n[[Here comes toss number two!|AR3-3]]<<endif>>

<<display AR3-TOSS>><<if $dieroll >= 5>>//KTHUNK!!// The knife hits the board right between two of your tentacles! It's a good thing you had the sense to hold them rigid!\n\n[[Alright, here's the final toss!|AR3-4]]<<endif>>

You are tied spread-eagled to a board. Then the court stenographer marks your body with a pen: she writes "GUILTY" on your limbs and on your forehead. Then she writes "INNOCENT" over your heart.\n\nThe Robailiff has been blindfolded and is handed a tray containing three knives. It grins as it lifts the first one, seeming to wink even though it's blindfolded.\n\n[[And here's the first throw!|AR3-2]]

//BLAMMO!!//\n\nPieces of your robot duplicate's circuit brain fly across the courtroom. The image of yourself lying slumped on the table with a massive hole in your head arrests you for a second, but then you put it out of your mind. You're INNOCENT!\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]

"Unless I like completely mess up history or something. But frankly I'm incredibly self-centered and I don't really care what happens to any hypothetical version of me other than this one. I'm sure the me in this universe will feel the same way. Well, like 95% sure."\n\n<<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>>

<<display AR3-TOSS>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<if $lawyer eq "good">>There's a scream! Your lawyer, Eccentrica Charming, falls over - dead, a knife in her back.<<set $lawyer = "none">>\n\n"Bummer," says the Robailiff, lifting the blindfold from its eyes.<<else>>When you finally open your eyes, you see that the blade of the knife is stuck in the Robailiff. "I'm not sure how this happened," it says.<<endif>> "But since none of the knives hit, we'll have to proceed with trial as normal.\n\n[[Resume court.|PROSECUTOR]]<<endif>>

You see yourself. From in front and slightly above your head. The camera seems to be mounted just above the touchscreen, though the wall is completely seamless. Good to know it can't see the screen you're using to hack the cameras, also because it would make one of those weird infinite feedback things.\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

The little creature's lip curls up as its bulbous eyestalks crowd with tears. Suddenly it bursts into loud, heaving sobs.\n\nIn the middle of a growing puddle of tears, Whisperbat tries to comfort the being. The Judge stares at you and shakes their head. "In all my years at court."\n\n"Rude," snorts the Robailiff.\n\n"Should that go in the court record?" asks the court stenographer. "It seems really unnecessary."\n\n<<if $favors > 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>Because of your abhorrent behavior, you have actually lost one of your favors.\n\n<<endif>>[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $evidence = false>>The small green creature looks guilty and begins stuttering like it's holding back tears. "I - I - I'm just a janitor's apprentice!" The creature bursts into tears.\n\n"A mere apprentice is not qualified to deliver testimony in a court of law," you say coolly.\n\nThe small creature flees the court in tears.\n\nCount Whisperbat glares at you, furious.<<else>>"I am proud to hold the position of janitor as did my pod-mother before me and my pod-mother before her, and as will my own clonelings someday. If they want to."\n\nThe creature swells with pride. Its story holds up!\n\nCount Whisperbat looks smug.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

The small green creature looks guilty and begins stuttering like it's holding back tears. "I - I - I was actually sneaking away from work to listen to the new Hot Hot Hearts album!" It starts crying. "I didn't know I was going to find a crime scene!"\n\nCount Whisperbat holds a tissue to the creature's bulbous eyestalks and pats it gently. He shakes his head at you. "There, there. Thou may have snucketh off work, but thou discovered a decisive piece of evidence. A piece of evidence that shall remain in the court record!"\n\nYou don't think this has really helped you.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<display 'PR1-HACK'>><<else>>You're all out of favors!\n\n"Defense!" The Judge bangs their laser gavel. "Do you have any objection to this piece of testimony?"\n\n[["What do you even know about megabikes?"|PR1D-8]]\n[["I don't even own a megabike!"|PR1B]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Uh, DO you own a megabike?"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I BET YOU THIS CHUMP HAS NEVER EVEN SEEN A MEGABIKE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

"Uh, no it doesn't. Haven't you read Dewclaw? Time travel is based on the many-worlds theory of the universe. You know what that means, right? When a time traveller travels in time, they're actually..."\n\n[["Changing the future so they no longer exist!"|PR3C-4]]\n[["Visiting a parallel universe!"|PR3C-5]]\n[["Creating a paradox!"|PR3C-4]]

"I can see pretty well, thank you very much," the witness says, narrowing its huge, bulbous eyestalks.\n\nCount Whisperbat stifles a laugh.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"What was I doing at the crime scene? I work there! I'm a janitor. I was looking for things to clean when I spotted the megabike tracks! A bad mess if I've ever seen one. When I followed the tracks, though, I realized they were coming from the crime scene!"\n\nA solid testimony. But you're about to poke holes in it!\n\n[["Are you //really// a janitor?"|PR1D-5]]\n[["Were you //really// on duty when you discovered the tracks?"|PR1D-6]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "'Janitor' is a lucrative and highly-sought-after career. Maybe our friend isn't telling us the whole truth here."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIS GOOD-FOR-NOTHING WAS PROBABLY SHIRKING DUTY TO GO LOOK AT THE COOL MEGABIKE TRACKS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"You can tell by the tread." A photograph is holographically projected into the courtroom. You can clearly make out the tire treads in the photo: they have rad lightning bolts in them!\n\n"Submitted as evidence," says Whisperbat," this photo of the crime scene, clearly illustrating that the culprit made their getaway on a megabike."\n\n[[Hack the holograph machine to change the photo - 1 favor.|PR1D-7]]\n[["What do you even know about megabikes?"|PR1D-8]]\n[["I don't even own a megabike!"|PR1B]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This might be a good time to call in a favor if you have one."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIS PUNK WOULDN'T KNOW A MEGABIKE IF IT BIT ONE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Trial by combat with four warriors who represent the four principal vices which tempt beings to crime: Avarice, Pride, Sloth, and Anger.\n\n[[Undertake trial by combat.|AR1-1]]\n<<display ('AR-CHOICES')>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Four rounds of combat? The odds don't seem in your favor. You can still plead not guilty!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "YOU WILL DIE IN COMBAT. MIGHT AS WELL JUST PLEAD GUILTY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Trial by Raygun Roulette.\n\n[[Undertake trial by raygun.|AR2-1]]\n<<display ('AR-CHOICES')>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I guess you'd actually only have about a 50-50 chance of blowing your head off."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "RAYGUN ROULETTE. THE GAME OF CHAMPIONS."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<>\n<<set $favors = $favors - 1>>\n<<set $lawyer = "good">>\n<<endnobr>>You make a phone call and hotshot lawyer Eccentrica Charming materializes beside you. "We're gonna get you out of this," she promises.\n\n<<display 'CRIME-PLEAD'>>

Trial by reenactment. You must act out your crime before the court in order to prove you are capable of it. If you're unable to convince the court you could perform the crime, you'll be set free.\n\n[[Undertake trial by reenactment.|AR4-1]]\n<<display ('AR-CHOICES')>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This could get you off the hook! It depends on how big a believer you are in your own incompetence."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "PREPOSTEROUS. WOULD YOU TURN THIS COURTROOM INTO A FARCE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Trial by poison! A deadly poison will be injected into your system and allowed to run its course. If you survive, you must be innocent, and will be allowed to go free.\n\n[[Submit to trial by poison.|AR5-1]]\n<<display ('AR-CHOICES')>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "It seems like your chances of surviving this trial are really slim! You could still always plead not guilty."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THEY SAY POISON IS DELICIOUS. AS A ROBOT, I WILL NEVER KNOW."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

Trial by cat. The ancients believed cats existed half in this dimension, half in another, higher dimension. Therefore, cats have a higher connection to the truth. Your fate will be voted on by cats.\n\n[[Undertake trial by cat.|AR6-1]]\n<<display ('AR-CHOICES')>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I like cats. It's worth a shot."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "CATS ARE SO CUTE. I THINK YOU SHOULD DO IT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<<set $previous_witness = "I">><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 3>>You call Dagger Stiletto and within moment the pirate queen materializes on the holomat, splayed on a pile of stolen wealth, the precious gems of a hundred worlds decorating her fingers, toes, and the metal pincers of her claw hand.\n\n"Hey, you rapscallion!" she greets you. "It's been forever! What have you been up to? Murder and mayhem, I'm sure!"\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DI-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DI-2]]<<else>>You call Dagger Stiletto but it's her second-in-command, Stella Starborn, who picks up. "What do you want? Oh, hey, it's you! Sorry, Dagger's in the middle of her daily swim in the treasure horde, and I was trying to catch some rays by the pool. I'm missing some primo radiation right now! I'll tell her you called though, okay?"\n\nShe hangs up.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

<<set $previous_witness = "F">>"Welcome to the Bone Zone, where the bartender never rests." A skeleton with a flame-red undercut materializes. "Oh snap, it's you!" she exclaims. "Haven't seen you round the bar in a while, we all thought you got sent up the river."\n\n"I'm on trial right now," you tell her.\n\n"Oh geez! Am I a witness? Are like a million people watching me right now?" She adjusts the O-ring connecting her eyesockets. That one's new, she must have got it done recently.\n\n"So what do you need me for?" she says, idly washing a glass.\n\n[[I need a drink - 1 favor.|DF-1]]\n[[I need an alibi.|DF-2]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DF-3]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>

You may, in accordance with ancient law, undergo a Rite of Trial in place of trial in a court of law. The Ancient Rite in this part of the galaxy is:\n\n<<display either ('AR1','AR2','AR3','AR4','AR5','AR6')>>

<<set $previous_witness = "D">><<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 2>>"Boom!" yells your mercenary pal Rory as they materialize in the holomat. "Rory here! Oh, hey babe! What's up? Hold on gimme a second."\n\nThe image of Rory spins around as their ship does a cartwheel. You can see lasers zoom by in the rear cockpit window. "Okay, cool. So what do ya need?"\n\n"Rory, are you in the middle of something?" you ask.\n\n"Well, it's like this: I've been contracted by these octopus guys in their war against these squid guys. Now I have nothing against the squid guys, I have a couple of their albums, good stuff. But you know how the music industry is these days."\n\nRory rolls again as a burst of laser fire streams past. "Anyway, I have the situation completely under control. Whaddaya need?"\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DD-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DD-2]]<<else>>"Yo!" says your mercenary pal Rory as they materialize in the holomat. You can see lasers and explosions flicker in the cockpit window behind them. "I'm kind of in the middle of something here but I-"\n\nThere's an explosion and the holomat fills with green static, and then the line goes dead.\n\nThey're probably alright.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]<<endif>>

<<set $previous_witness = "E">>"Hello, you've reached Spinach Arugala, sentient plant. I'm always here." A big leafy thing stuck in the dirt materializes on the holomat. "Oh hey, buddy! How's it //growing?// Haha! Get it? Plant humor! Come on, don't //leaf// me hanging! Ahaha!"\n\nYou remember why you don't call this guy more often.\n\n"All joking aside, what can I //dew// for you? Like dew on the grass? Sorry, I got that one from a sentient blade of grass, and you know those guys just aren't very funny."\n\n[[I need an alibi.|DE-1]]\n[[I need a character witness.|DE-2]]

The Judge unfurls a piece of HoloPapyrus. "You have heard the crime of which you stand accused. How do you plead?"\n\n[[Guilty!|GUILTY]]\n[[Not guilty!|CRIME-NOTGUILTY]]\n[[Possession!|CRIME-POSSESSION]]\n[[Invoke the Ancient Rite!|ANCIENTRITE]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Pleading 'not guilty' is the least risky option here."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "JUST PLEAD GUILTY. MAKE IT EASIER."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"What about my OTHER secret birthmark," you challenge, "the one on the back of my third tentacle shaped like a dragonfly perched on a skull."\n\n"It's right here," says your doppleganger, raising the tentacle to show a perfect match for the birthmark you described.\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $evidence = false>>"HA!" you shout. "I don't HAVE a second secret birthmark!" You show the tentacle to the court - it's completely birthmark-free!\n\n"Dang," says your so-called clone, as their form jiggles and reverts to an amorphous, jellylike mass. "I'm actually a shapeshifter."\n\n"Y-your Majesty," starts Count Whisperbat nervously, "I have a perfectly good explanation for how the biological clone I had prepared was replaced by this unidentified shapeshifter."\n\n"I don't really care," says the Judge. Whisperbat seems relieved but sullen.<<else>>"Oh," you say.\n\n"There we have it," says Whisperbat. "A perfect duplicate in every way. PROVING that the blood it was cloned from - the blood at the crime scene - belonged to none other than the accused!"\n\nWell, frig. Whisperbat is tittering to himself.<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

Megabike tracks at crime scene.

<>\n<<set $crime = either("Distributing poisoned candy on Mars","Stealing the Jewels of Nabooti","Desecrating the Temple of SlayVor","Robbing the Memory Bank","Stealing the diamond core of Jupiter","Smuggling contraband holograms into the Cybersphere","Throwing a laser party without a permit","Hijacking the Orion Express","Stealing the miniature city of Miniapolis","Staging a break-out at the Ice Prison","Swallowing the Apple of Her Eye, the crown jewel of the Queen of Space","Smuggling illegal SHRINKDEX-1 across the galactic borders","Inciting a riot at the Laser Lariat","Springing criminal mastermind Kremlin San Antonio from jail")>>\n<<endnobr>>"PRISONER!" booms the Robailiff. "You stand accused of the following crime:\n\n''<<$crime>>!''\n\nPresiding over your trial will be the honorable Judge <<print either("Muffintop","Vampirate","Contessa Royale","Handlebars","Creme Brulee","Powdercakes","Van Ordinance","Horatio Moustachio","Harmony St. Discord","Von Judge","Sugar Lump","Crinkle Cut","Heckfire","Herring Trout","Spacklefloor","Tuesday Thursday","Mudge","Hematoma Lambada","Cragg","Hambone Rib","Zip Tarball","Ambient Soundscape")>>." The Judge smiles at you as they take their place upon the Justice Dais - they're <<print either("your former lover","the wily pirate you sent up the river a few years back","your estranged cousin - the one that never liked you","the loan shark you've been giving the run-around for years","the head of the rival gang","your former mentor")>>! Someone powerful must have set this up. But you're not without resources: you yourself have THREE FAVORS that you can call in when you need them.\n\n"Fancy meeting you here," says the judge. "You've been accused of a very serious crime. Do you have a lawyer to represent you? If not, the Court will supply you with a perfectly servicable Public Defendroid."\n\n[[Hire a good lawyer - 1 favor.|CRIME-LAWYER]]\n[[Accept the Public Defendroid.|CRIME-DEFENDROID]]\n[[Act as your own counsel.|CRIME-NOLAWYER]]

Splendid! Thanks to reality-altering devices, we are pleased to offer you the ability to experience //Star Court// again, with an entirely different set of variables and circumstances. Enjoy //Star Court// as many times as you like - there are many different branches of possibility to be seen, and even the same events may unfold differently when you re-experience them!\n\n[[Start again!|Start]]

\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll < 6>>\n<<else>>\n<<endif>>\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>\n<<else>>\n<<endif>>\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]\n\n[[You may go free.|INNOCENT]]

"The Defense rests, your Honor."\n\n"Very well, says the Judge. They bang their laser gavel. <<display 'D-END'>>

Final phase of the trial loop.

Possession's nine tenths of the law, after all!\n\n"I was possessed at the time of the crime! A spirit compelled me to do it!"\n\n"This is a serious claim," says the Judge. They bang their laser gavel. "Bring in the court High Priestess!"\n\nThe Priestess enters, festooned in white and blue. Round yellow crescent moons hang from her earrings, her belt - you think even the pupils of her eyes might be moon-shaped. "I am summoned," she greets the Judge.\n\n"You are here-"\n\n"I am here to ascertain whether a criminal spirit is inhabiting this vessel," she interrupts, turning toward you. Her crescent moons all jangle as she turns. Her eyes wane to slivers.\n\n[[Undergo ritual.|P-1]]

Premise / characters introduced.

<<if $favors eq 1>>You have <<$favors>> favor remaining.<<else>>You have <<$favors>> favors remaining.<<endif>>

Part one of the trial loop.

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>>You psychically email an old connection, and in a moment the witness fades from sight!\n\n"This sucks!" she says. "Now no one can see my beautiful cloak!" The court stares in confusion at the invisible witness. "You know I'm psychic, though, right? I don't need to be visible in able to testify.\n\nA psychic bubble appears where she used to be, almost like a cartoon thought bubble, displaying a crystal-clear recording a you performing the crime!\n\n"Submitted as evidence, Whisperbat picks up the trail. "The contents of this vision can leave no doubt that it could have been none other than the accused who doth committed this crime!"\n\n[[Try and distract the witness!|PR2A-1]]\n[[Use psychic influence to try and change the vision.|PR2A-2]]\n[["This psychic stuff is total baloney!"|PR2A-3]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Psychic evidence has been legally admissible in court since the 3500s. You're going to have to distract her somehow."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE TAKE THIS PSYCHIC STUFF SERIOUSLY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>\n<<else>>\n<<endif>>

<<if $clicks eq 0>>"Time's up," says the Robailiff, reappearing through the almost-invisible door in the wall. It escorts you back the courtroom.\n\n[[Court resumes.|R-END]]<<else>><<if $clicks eq 2>>You have two clicks before court resumes.<<endif>><<if $clicks eq 1>>You have one click left.<<endif>> What are you gonna do?\n\n[[Consult with lawyer.|RA]]\n<<if $judge_bribed eq false>>[[Buy the Judge something off their amazon wish list - 2 favors.|RB]]\n<<endif>>[[Hack into the security camera network.|RC]]\n[[Check the news.|RD]]\n[[Check your email.|RE]]\n[[Escape!!|RF]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>><<endif>>

"SO DID I ONCE," she replies. "BUT OUR CHILD INHERITED MY PSYCHIC POWERS SO WE GOT CAUGHT IN THIS WEIRD PSYCHIC LOOP THING. LIKE, PROJECTING MY THOUGHTS TO THE KID AND THEN THE KID PROJECTS THEM BACK, OVER AND OVER UNTIL IT'S UNBEARABLE. ANYWAY, TO PROTECT BOTH ME AND OUR CHILD, MY PARTNER TOOK THE KID AND LEFT ME. THE WHOLE THING REALLY DID A NUMBER ON ME."\n\n"NOW I ONLY LIVE TO CAUSE SUFFERING WITH MY POWERS," she concludes. "AND FOR REALLY GORGEOUS CLOAKS."\n\n[["IS THAT HOW WHISPERBAT BRIBED YOU INTO TESTIFYING?"|PR2B-7]]\n[["BUT I DON'T WANT TO EXPERIENCE SUFFERING!"|PR2B-4]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll eq 1>>The knife lands straight in your heart, killing you immediately!\n\nCongratulations, you're innocent! You're also dead.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<endif>><<if $dieroll eq 2>>The knife hits you right between the eyes. You are killed immediately, and, what's worse, you're found guilty by the court!\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>><<endif>><<if $dieroll >= 3 and $dieroll <= 4>>//YEEOOOW!!// The knife sticks in one of your limbs! Bad news! You've been found GUILTY!\n\n[[Accept your sentence.|GUILTY]]<<endif>>

<<if $favors >= 2>><<set $favors = $favors - 2>><<set $evidence = false>>You psychically transmit the IP address and PIN to one of your richer DataBanks.\n\n"MARVELOUS, SIMPLY MARVELOUS. I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT FROM HERE," she promises. You break the psychic connection.\n\n"WITNESS!" shouts Whisperbat. "Begin your //psychic projection!//"\n\nShe concentrates and suddenly a psychic bubble appears over her head, like a thought bubble. In the bubble, clear as day, is a vision of Count Daniel Whisperbat doing a very silly dance to a Vampire Tuesday song in long johns.\n\n"How did you know??" he shrieks, before leaping up to pop the bubble. Beneath her cloak, you can tell the psychic gives you a wink.\n\n"That established nothing," says the Judge. "I hate that song."\n\nCount Whisperbat glares at you, as though knowing you must have somehow arranged this.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<else>>You can't afford her price!\n\n"WELL?" she asks. "WHAT'S IT GONNA BE, HONEY?"\n\n[[Duel her on the astral plane.|PR2C]]\n[[Try and reason with her.|PR2B-2]]<<endif>>

Totally empty. A lone janitor holding a broom in each tentacle gives the floor a once-over, stopping to throw salt around Count Whisperbat's desk.\n\n[[Continue.|R-LOOP]]

"AS A MATTER OF FACT, HE BOUGHT ME THIS BEAUTIFUL CLOAK I'M WEARING RIGHT NOW. THAT WAS HIS PAYMENT FOR ME TESTIFYING AGAINST YOU."\n\n[[Bring this psychic confession back to the courtroom!|PR2B-10]]\n[["OH."|PR2B-9]]

"WHY DO YOU WEAR THAT CLOAK ANYWAY," you bluster. "IS IT BECAUSE YOU'RE GROSS UNDERNEATH."\n\nYou can hear her psychic howl in your mind. "YOU HAVE INSULTED ME! I CHALLENGE YOU TO A PSYCHIC DUEL!"\n\n<<display 'PR2C'>>

<>\n<<set $job = either("zero-gravity janitor","soylent farmer","space taxi driver","snail rancher","black hole miner","music holo backup dancer","protein pill fry cook","trans-planetary flight attendant","dangerous vehicle test pilot","deep space construction worker")>>\n<<set $house = either("in a hive city","on an asteroid condo","in a sewer","in a cheap hologram apartment","on a very tiny moon","on a backwater mining colony","on a crowded, slow-travelling colony ship","in a capsule studio apartment that's more spacious than you'd think","on a piece of ice in one of Saturn's rings")>>\n<<set $pet = either("spacecat","bulldog","znydgi","megabullfrog","moonrock","space ferret","carpet shark","cat snake")>>\n<<endnobr>>Congratulations, you're a free being! You get a job as a <<$job>> and settle down <<$house>> with your pet <<$pet>>.\n\n[[Upgrade job - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-JOB]]\n[[Upgrade home - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-HOUSE]]\n[[Upgrade pet - 1 favor.|INNOCENT-PET]]\n[[Live happily ever after.|INNOCENT-END]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>

"A likely story," says the Judge. <<display 'PROSECUTOR'>>

"Mmmmmmm, yes," smirks Whisperbat. "I was hoping you'd ask. WITNESS! Begin your //psychic projection!//"\n\n<<display 'PR2-VISION'>>

You close your eyes and project your thoughts. "O ESTEEMED FELLOW MIND AND TRAVELLER OF THE THOUGHTWAYS, I GREET YOU."\n\n"HEY, BABE," responds the witness. "WHAT'S UP? YOU WANNA BUY ME OFF? I'LL WARN YOU, I'M NOT CHEAP."\n\n"I HAVE VERY EXPENSIVE TASTES IN CLOAKS," she continues.\n\n[[Buy her off - 2 favors.|PR2B-1]]\n[[Duel her on the astral plane.|PR2C]]\n[[Try and reason with her.|PR2B-2]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<<if $lawyer neq "none">>Your lawyer's voice cannot reach you here in the realm of pure thought.<<endif>>

You stand on the howling psychic landscape of the astral plane, a being of light and fire.\n\nOpposite you: your opponent. The psychic towers over you, a spider-like nightmare of arms of arms and legs, each hand holding a weapon. Knives, maces, swords, she is like a walking armory. Her eyes stare malice at you: her third eye, open and flaming, has a third eye of its own.\n\n[[Commence battle!|PR2C-1]]\n[["OH GEEZ ACTUALLY I'M A PACIFIST."|PR2C-2]]\n\n<<if $lawyer neq "none">>Your lawyer's voice cannot reach you here on the ASTRAL PLANE.<<endif>>

"Really, we're going to accept this supposed psychic's word that she's seen me in some sort of vision? I think she's faking!" You've thrown down the gauntlet.\n\n"FOOL!" she howls. "Your crime was foretold by our most ancient psychic prophets!" She produces a piece of ancient brown parchment. On it, in big, inarguable letters, are the words "YOU DID IT."\n\n[[Hack the ancient parchment - 1 favor.|PR2D-1]]\n[[Uncloak the psychic!|PR2D-2]]\n[[Recite a verse from the Space Bible.|PR2D-3]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "At times like these, I always advise my clients to look to scripture. I mean, it couldn't hurt."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THAT PARCHMENT REALLY SPELLS IT ALL OUT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Hell yeah, man! My first one! It's gonna be off the hook, too - I'm gonna steer the scooter //between// the two suns! It's gonna be a real sight."\n\n"Wooooooow," you say.\n\n"I might die! In which case that autograph you got is gonna be worth a whole lot more."\n\n"Wicked," you respond.\n\n"Okay, it's time! Stars don't jump themselves, you know! Except maybe in this case, where they're sort of locked into perpetual orbit around each other. Anyway, wish me luck! Fireball out!!"\n\nWhat a guy.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

The Judge bangs their laser gavel a final time. "Robailiff, you may take the prisoner away."\n\n<<$sentence>> years will pass in no time, you're sure. Especially if you spend them plotting your escape!\n\nHeh heh heh.\n\n<<display 'THEEND'>>

"I THINK OF YOU AS BEING LIKE A PARENT TO ME. THE KIND OF PARENT WHO BUILDS YOU OUT OF KITCHEN SUPPLIES AND THEN EXPECTS YOU TO BE ABLE TO KEEP AN ENTIRE APARTMENT CLEAN. LOOK AT THIS," it says, flailing its dinner fork arm. "HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO CARRY A MOP WITH THIS."\n\n"I'll talk to you later, Beep Boop."\n\n"WHATEVER," says your robot butler.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>><<set $alibi = true>>"Where were you the time of the crime? Man, you know you were helping my suds down the old starscooter! Remember, the cooling system got set off accidentally and the whole scooter started being slowly encased in ice? And we were trying to get inside and turn it off but the door was like frozen solid and you were trying to get it open and you slipped right off and you sort of fell on me and then we gazed meaningfully into each others' eyes for a minute."\n\n"It was a real trip, man." he finishes. You fidgit a little.\n\n"Anyway, I've got to do this thing right now. I might die! In which case you're a very special person and I value the time we spent together. Okay, peace! Fireball out!"\n\n"Harrumph," says Count Whisperbat.<<else>>"Where were you the time of the crime? Man, I dunno, committing it probably! Oh wait oops you're in court, huh? In that case...nooot committing it? Probably? Maybe holding a bakesale for that organization of space people who are opposed to committing crime?"\n\n"SPOCC doesn't have bakesales," Count Whisperbat interjects.\n\n"Ugh. Sorry I couldn't help more. Listen, I gotta jump this star. I don't want your last memory of old Fireball to be me totally chowdering things up for you in court, so I'm gonna come back alive! Take it easy! Fireball out!"\n\nWhat a guy.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

"I guess that's one way to put it, if you're like Star Trek or something. You don't travel to the past of the universe you started in, you visit a parallel one where a time traveller popped out of nowhere one day."\n\n[["So by travelling here, you created a new universe?"|PR3C-6]]\n[["So you can never return to your original universe, right?"|PR3C-7]]\n[["So in the future of this universe, a different version of you is about to set off to yet another parallel universe?"|PR3C-8]]

"If thou are not contesting the evidence," sneers Whisperbat with a look of absolute glee, "then the court must allow it to stand."\n\nYou slump in your seat. You think you see the Crime Boss wink at you.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<if $favors >= 1>><<set $favors = $favors - 1>><<set $evidence = false>>You call in an old friend, Sister Mary Maglaser of the House of the Endless Nova.\n\n"Relgious powers invested in me compell me to declare that demonic law //is// void and verboten among all the stars upon which shine the light of the Endless Nova!"\n\nThe Crime Boss hisses and vanishes is a puff of sulpuric ash.\n\n"Frig," says Whisperbat. You and Sister Mary high-five.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<else>>You can't afford to call in any more favors!\n\n<<display 'PR4A-12'>><<endif>>

"Very well," says Whisperbat. "The contract is NOT prohibited, and it shall remain in the court record.\n\nPhooey.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

<<set $clicks = $clicks - 1>><<if $clicks eq 0>>"Alright," says the Judge, "those were your two witnesses."\n\nThey bang their laser gavel. <<display 'D-END'>><<else>>You may call one more witness.\n\n[[Call a witness.|D-WITNESS]]\n[[Pray.|D-PRAY]]\n[[Rest your case.|D-REST]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, <<if $alibi eq true>>"You've established an alibi! Try and focus on character testimony now."<<else>>"This is your last chance to establish an alibi!"<<endif>><<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "GIVE IT A REST, EVERYONE KNOWS YOU'RE GUILTY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

<<if $alibi eq true>><<set $alibi = false>>Alibi destroyed.<<else>><<set $alibi = true>>Alibi falsified.<<endif>>\n\n<<display 'DEBUG'>>

The witness brings her hands to her head and, it looks like, begins vibrating beneath her cloak. Suddenly a bubble appears over her head, almost like a cartoon thought bubble, displaying a crystal-clear recording a you performing the crime!\n\n"Submitted as evidence, Whisperbat continues. "The contents of this vision can leave no doubt that it could have been none other than the accused who doth committed this crime!"\n\nThis looks bad for you!\n\n[[Try and distract the witness!|PR2A-1]]\n[[Use psychic influence to try and change the vision.|PR2A-2]]\n[["This psychic stuff is total baloney!"|PR2A-3]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Psychic evidence has been legally admissible in court since the 3500s. You're going to have to distract her somehow."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I CAN'T BELIEVE PEOPLE TAKE THIS PSYCHIC STUFF SERIOUSLY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"No! I just showed up to witness your crime, which happened in exactly the same way as it would have had I not been there. And I'm here testifying about what I witnessed in a universe unaltered by my actions."\n\n<<if $timeline_altered>>[["But you did change the universe, remember?"|PR3C-11]]<<else>><<display 'PR3-TIMETRAVEL'>><<endif>>

"Okay, are we done arguing?" asks the Judge. "The court accepts the possibility of time travel. The witness's testimony is sustained."\n\nThe time traveller makes a farting noise with his tongue. Count Whisperbat merely basks in his own smugness.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

We're sorry you feel that way. If you change your mind, you know where to find us.\n\n//Unless we find you first.//

<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 2>><<set $alibi = true>>"What were you doing the night of the crime? Oh, babe, I distinctly remember you being at one of my parties. That was the night I had that 'night of the living dead' theme party, you know, the one where we all did our make-up and costumes to look like people who were still alive! Betty painted her coffin to look like a sports car, it was a gas!"\n\nShe pauses to sip something red from an ancient goblet.\n\n"Oh, but you! The only live person there, and what do you do? You came in full rigor mortis make-up, bandages hanging from your arms. Everyone thought it was just the most charming thing."\n\nWhisperbat's still sulking. He seems obviously miffed that he doesn't get invited to these parties.\n\nThere's a sudden howling of wind and a slamming of doors. Valencia turns for a moment. "Oh! The Liche Lord just showed up! Sweetie, I've got to go! But come over my place one night, I miss you!"<<else>>"What were you doing the night of the crime? Well, you must have been at one of my parties!"\n\n"The crime took place during the day," coughs Whisperbat.\n\n"Who's this guy?" says Valencia. "Loosen up, babe. There's just no raising some dead."\n\nWhisperbat glowers. "Regardless, the crime was committed during the day, so the accused couldn't have been attending one of your late-night soirees."\n\n"Man," Valencia says, "this guy is a real nail in the old coffin. Sorry I couldn't help more, sweetheart."\n\nShe hangs up.<<endif>>\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

<<set $character = true>>"This one? The life of my parties, literally. Often the only person alive there. I've seen you charm the sitches off some of the most jaded, ancient corpses I know. Vibrant, that's the word for you. You've got this bright, warm vitality to you that I wish I could just suck right out of you. Which, I know, we've talked about before, and I respect your choices. I'm not trying to force that conversation again. Listen, I think the world of you, okay? My parties would be dead without you, and I mean that."\n\nYou think you're blushing a little. "See? That's what I'm talking about right there. Anyway, the party seems to be slowing down, which means it's time for another injection from doctor hostess! Wish you were here, T-T-Y-L!"\n\nYou can't help smirking as Whisperbat glares at you with a mixture of disdain and jealousy.\n\n[[Continue.|D-LOOP]]

The High Priestess inscribes a wide circle in chalk on the courtroom floor, positioning candles at points corresponding to stars in the Andromeda constellation. She unzips her high moonbeam heels and sits cross-legged in the circle, motioning to you to join her. She lights a bundle of sage, rings a small bell, and says:\n\n//"Spirit of crime living within this innocent, hear me! You are an intruder in this dwelling, and unwelcome! You have no claim to this vessel - come out! Come out!"//\n\n<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>>There is silence after the High Priestess finishes speaking. Then there's a strange rumbling - it's in your stomach. You feel an urge to vomit - you throw back your head and disgorge a thick grey-blue mist into the air. It keeps pouring out of you, all of it coalescing into a single cloud-like mass above your head. Then it opens its thousand eyes.\n\n"Okay, now you have to fight it," says the High Priestess, gathering her shoes and cautiously backing away. "Fight the criminal spirit for control of your body. Beat it up."\n\nThe thousand-eyed thing screams.\n\n[[Fight crime ghost.|P-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Jinkies."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "NEAT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<else>>Nothing happens. "Not possessed," says the High Priestess, picking up her shoes and rubbing away the chalk circle with her foot.\n\nThe Judge looks at you sternly. "Do you want to change your plea?"\n\n[[Plead not guilty.|CRIME-NOTGUILTY]]\n[["I stand by my claim and accept all consequences!"|GUILTY]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "As your legal counsel, I must strongly advise you to accept the Judge's offer."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I KNEW YOU WERE GUILTY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<endif>>

<<set $evidence = false>>"Yes," says Whisperbat mockingly, "I'm afraid to say that the demonic lord who controls all crime has in fact been deceiving you - OOP." He puts his hand over his mouth. But you've already caught him.\n\n"So you're admitting that the witness is in fact under no magical geas to tell the truth as you have previously claimed."\n\n"Grrr. Fine! It's true, I'm not - not a high enough level Vampire Lord to compell such a powerful demon to speak the truth."\n\n"He just bribed me," says the Crime Boss. "Haha! Sucker."\n\n//"DISPELL!"// howls Whisperbat angrily, and a sudden wind puts out the candles and returns the Crime Boss to whichever demonic plane he hails from.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Heh heh heh," says the Crime Boss. "You're not bad. Maybe we'll meet again someday - on MY home turf."\n\n//"DISPELL!"// cries Whisperbat, and a sudden wind puts out the candles and returns the Crime Boss to whichever demonic plane he hails from. Whisperbat storms off sulkily, not even cleaning the pentagram from the floor.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Ahem," the Crime Boss clears his throat, preparing to read:<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 4>> //"Offer void where prohibited."//\n\n"So what?" says Whisperbat. "Who's to say what's prohibited under demonic law?"\n\n[[Call in a nun - 1 favor.|PR4A-11]]\n[[He's got a point.|PR4A-12]]\n\n<<display 'FAVORS'>>\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "If you've got some friends in the clergy, this may be a good time to call on them."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "CAN'T ARGUE THAT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<else>> //"Contract is legally binding forever."//\n\n"Oh," you say. Well, that didn't help.\n\nCount Whisperbat chuckles.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<endif>>

"Anyway, what were we saying?" asks Whisperbat, after dusting himself off. "Oh yes, I was asserting my magical ability to keep the witness ritually compelled to tell the truth."\n\n[[Demand physical evidence.|PR4A-1]]\n[[Question Whisperbat's magical powers.|PR4A-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Pressing for tangible evidence that we can dispute seems like the right move here."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THIS GUY IS ALL TALK, SERIOUSLY. I CAN TELL."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You're handed a piece of paper on which to sign your name.<<display 'DIEROLL'>><<if $dieroll >= 5>><<set $evidence = false>> Craftily, you REFRAIN from dotting the Is with hearts. When you go over to the witness stand to hold your piece of paper next to the demonic contract, the difference is obvious!\n\n"Grrr!" growls Whisperbat.\n\n"Haha, it was a forgery anyway," the Crime Boss whispers, tossing the contract over his shoulder. "Is it cool if I kept that paper you signed? It'll be worth a ton on the demonic black market - after I illegally price-gouge! Oh, the pentagram magically compells me to refuse gifts - you'll need to rub it out."\n\n[[Rub out the pentagram.|PR4C]]\n[[Keep the paper.|PR4A-9]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I trust a demonic prince of crime about as far as I could throw him! I mean, I do yoga, but that's still probably not very far!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "MAYBE HE'LL GIVE YOU A CUT."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>><<else>> You sign your signature perfectly, right down to the hearts over the Is. Which was maybe not the best plan, because now the signatures match exactly!\n\n"Mwahahahaha," cackles Whisperbat. //"DISPELL!"// he cries, and a sudden wind puts out the candles and returns the Crime Boss to whichever demonic plane he hails from.\n\nYou win some, you lose some, I guess.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]<<endif>>

"I demand-" "Yeah, yeah, proof," he says, pulling out a photograph. It's a selfie of him in front of the crime scene. He's making a peace sign.\n\n"Indisputable proof," Whisperbat puts in, "that it was the accused who committed the crime."\n\n[["This photo's not proof of anything!"|PR3A-1]]\n[["But time travel's not real!"|PR3C]]\n[["You'll have to do better than a photo!"|PR3A-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Photographic evidence is often questionable - or at the very least questionable enough that it can be overturned. If you ask the right questions."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "HE'S MAKING ALL THIS TIME TRAVEL STUFF UP."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"The Prosecution may begin," says the Judge.\n\n"Very well," says Whisperbat. <<display either('PR1','PR2','PR3','PR4','PR5','PR6')>>

"NO!" shouts Whisperbat, tackling you as you go to break the pentagram. "He's trying to trick you! If you break that pentagram, he'll be free to roam the material plane! There's no telling what a demonic prince of crime would do with the entire universe at his fingertips!"\n\nWhisperbat is trying to restrain you, but he's a Magic-type, not a Physical-type. He can only hold you back for so long.\n\n[[Wriggle free and rub out the pentagram!|PR4C]]\n[[Return to your seat and resume cross-examination.|PR4A-7]]\n[["A demonic lord of crime...lied to me??"|PR4A-8]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I think he's telling the truth! The Crime Boss is lying!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "DON'T LET THIS CHUMP GET IN YOUR WAY. DESTROY THAT PENTAGRAM!"<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

<big><big>''THE END''</big></big>\n\nWould you be willing to take a survey about your experience with //Star Court//?\n\n[[Take survey.|SURVEY]]\n[[Start over.|Start]]

"Right here, pal." The demon prince fishes around inside his pocket, and produces a piece of paper bearing your signature - in blood!\n\n"Proof," says Whisperbat, who seems to have recovered his easy confidence, "of the accused's deal with the lord of crime."\n\n[[Have the signature compared to your handwriting.|PR4A-4]]\n[[Have a blood test done on the blood.|PR4A-5]]\n[[Draw his attention to the fine print.|PR4A-6]]

--Let the player undo moves? (on / off)\n--In Sugarcane, this enables the browser's back button.\n--In Jonah, this lets the player click links in previous\n--passages.\n\nUndo: off\n\n--Let the player use bookmarks? (on / off)\n--This enables the Bookmark links in Jonah and Sugarcane\n--(If the player can't undo, bookmarks are always disabled.)\n\nBookmark: on\n\n--Obfuscate the story's HTML source to prevent possible\n--spoilers? (swap / off)\n\nObfuscate: off\n\n--String of letter pairs to use for swap-style obfuscation\n\nObfuscateKey: byvmdznkxruqgifhcswtjeplao\n\n--Include the jQuery script library? (on / off)\n--Individual scripts may force this on by\n--containing the text 'requires jQuery'.\n\njQuery: off\n\n--Include the Modernizr script library? (on / off)\n--Individual scripts/stylesheets may force this on by\n--containing the text 'requires Modernizr'.\n\nModernizr: off\n

<<if $debug eq true>>//Evidence against you: <<$evidence>>. You have an alibi: <<$alibi>>.// \n\n<<endif>><<set $character = false>><<set $clicks = 2>><<set $previous_witness = "none">>"Alright, it's the Defense's turn," says the Judge. "Defense, you may call two witnesses, because of the conversion rate."\n\nA holomat is wheeled into the witness stand, ready to project anyone you wish to call.\n\n[[Call a witness.|D-WITNESS]]\n[[Pray.|D-PRAY]]\n[[Rest your case.|D-REST]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Establishing an alibi is the most important thing we can do. Getting positive character testimony will earn you more favors. The best we could do is to do both."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "YOU BEST START PRAYING."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Anyway, where were we? Oh yes," says Whisperbat, "the witness recognized your scent."\n\n[["Are you calling me smelly?"|PR6A]]\n[[Question the validity of a professional criminal's testimony.|PR6B]]\n[[Challenge the witness to a thieves' competition.|PR6D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I still don't think you smell that bad."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "I STILL THINK YOU CAN TAKE HER."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"Court shall take a two click recess while the Jury convenes, after which we shall discover if a verdict has been reached. Smoke if you got 'em."\n\n<<if $character eq true>><<set $favors = $favors + 1>>//Because of your favorable character testimony, you have received an extra favor!//\n\n<<endif>>[[Report to the Suspect Breakroom.|RECESS]]

<<set $favors = 3>>You text past you the scores to last night's game. "Plz bet on game im u from futur." Jackpot! You can feel yourself become richer - you now have 3 favors to spend once again!\n\n<<display 'PR3-TEXTING'>>

You slide up to the witness stand. "So a long time ago I arbitrarily decided that there's this thing I should do if I ever meet a perfect double of myself."\n\n"I know exactly what you're thinking."\n\n"Wanna make out?"\n\n//IF APPROACHED BY A PERFECT DUPLICATE OF YOURSELF WHO WANTED TO MAKE OUT, HOW WOULD YOU RESPOND??//\n\n[[Definitely yes.|PR5D-1]]\n[[Probably no.|PR5D-2]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I would make out with myself. I'm a total babe. I think everyone gets to make their own decision about self-romance, though."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "YOUR CALL, BUDDY."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You know what? You don't need to make out with yourself if you don't want to. Probably it would exacerbate the weird feelings you already have about your body sometimes to see your own body from an outside perspective during a moment of intimacy, and you don't need to buy into a supposedly "sex positive" culture that would pressure you to engage in intimate acts you don't want to or would make you feel like a wuss for passing up the opportunity to make out with yourself. Asserting boundaries is a brave, non-wussy thing.\n\n"I can respect your ability to advocate for yourself," says Whisperbat, "but the witness's testimony stands."\n\nYou have no regrets.\n\n[[Proceed to the Defense.|DEFENSE]]

"Fine," says Whisperbat. "The witness - the accused's perfect clone and duplicate, the court recalls - will now reenact the crime, thus proving the accused is capable of doing just that."\n\nYour doppleganger begins doing just as it was ordered. Wow! You've got some moves! Are you really this good?\n\nIf you can't find a way to interrupt this live performance of the crime by your spitting image, the whole courtroom's gonna be convinced that you're guilty!\n\n[[Try and distract your clone.|PR5B-1]]\n[[Try and tackle your clone!|PR5B-2]]\n[[Shout "FIRE!"|PR5B-3]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "If I were you - and I'm not, I'm much better paid - I would take that clone down."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "FIRE? WHERE."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"You're not the real me!" you shout. "And I can prove it!"\n\nBut how??\n\n[[Series of atheletic stunts.|PR5A-1]]\n[["What's your favorite color?"|PR5A-2]]\n[[Compare secret birthmark.|PR5A-3]]\n[[Challenge to martial combat.|PR5A-4]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "Secret birthmark? I wanna see!"<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "THERE'S NO WAY IT KNOWS YOUR FAVORITE COLOR."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

"That's not how cloning works! A clone would be, like, still a baby!"\n\n//"Fine,"// Whisperbat sighs. "It's not cloning, it's 'copying.' But whatever, cloning is a convenient shorthand and everyone knew what I meant."\n\n"Anyway, cross-examination?"\n\n[[Try and prove your double is a fake!|PR5A]]\n[[This is insufficient evidence!|PR5B]]\n[[Romance self.|PR5D]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "I still have my doubts about this clone's - //copy's// legitimacy. Maybe there's a way you can trip it up."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "ROMANCE SELF."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>

You go over to take the contract from the Crime Boss. You stop right before you're about to step across the pentagram. Maybe breaking the pentagram is a bad idea. You could turn around and return to your seat - but then you wouldn't be contesting the evidence.\n\n[[Cross the pentagram.|PR4C]]\n[[Return to your seat.|PR4A-10]]\n\n<>\n<<if $lawyer eq "good">>Eccentrica whispers, "This is a solid piece of evidence the Prosecution has - but I'm frankly really scared of that demon guy."<<endif>>\n<<if $lawyer eq "bad">>The Public Defendroid buzzes, "WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR."<<endif>>\n<<endnobr>>